


love persevering

by sowish



Series: the amazing adventures of spider-yooh [4]
Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, Remember This, This is an AU of my AU, bora is a pediatrician, jiyoora are all sweaterboys and they make The Ultimate Sweaterboy, minji is a scientist, minji is also a super genius mhmm, spidey-yooh is so important to me, yoohyeon is obviously spiderman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:07:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 29,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29933865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sowish/pseuds/sowish
Summary: it isn't easy being spider-woman. all yoohyeon can do is try her best.
Relationships: Kim Bora | SuA/Kim Minji | JiU, Kim Bora | SuA/Kim Minji | JiU/Kim Yoohyeon, Kim Bora | SuA/Kim Yoohyeon, Kim Minji | JiU/Kim Yoohyeon
Series: the amazing adventures of spider-yooh [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2106180
Comments: 12
Kudos: 128





	1. ease my mind

**Author's Note:**

> this is brought to you by kylie's brainworms and i!
> 
> this is another universe from the spidey-verse that i've made.
> 
> you're free to think of it as part of it but i personally wouldn't recommend it.
> 
> if you see any inaccuracies to science or the spideyverse look the other way :D
> 
> chapter titles come from songs in ben platt's sing to me instead album. series title comes from wandavision.
> 
> enjoy!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nothing is too big, too impossible, when minji and bora are by yoohyeon's side.
> 
> -
> 
> the calm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome to part one of kylie and i's brainchild!!
> 
> enjoy!!!

“Ooo, my baby looks so good in her suit!”

Yoohyeon blushes a soft red, shifts uncomfortably with the velvet sleeves of her red wine blazer, French tucks the satin of her black button up into her black slacks.

(One would think that trapezing around in a skin-tight suit would be more uncomfortable than one that is luxuriously made and not as merciless on her form. But, Yoohyeon supposes, she does spend more of her time swinging around New York in a suit that really…accentuates…her lean and fit body more than she does all dressed up in fancy suits or dresses).

“I think this single outfit is worth at least two months of groceries and take-out.”

Bora smiles, fastens the top button of her shirt, hiding the red design of Yoohyeon’s Spidey suit behind black satin. “You act as if what you have underneath isn’t at least three years’ worth of groceries and take-out, Yoohyeonnie.”

Sheepish when she grins, Yoohyeon leans down to affectionately rest her forehead on her girlfriend’s. (There’s a silent but powerful solace, like having Bora so close to her quiets all the voices and thoughts running amuck in her mind). Bora’s right: nanotechnology isn’t cheap. Especially nanotechnology with an AI that talks back to her and entertains her silly jokes while helping her with her Spiderwoman duties.

Taking, perhaps, her millionth look at her girlfriend, Yoohyeon feels her heart trip over in excitement, its beating eager to tell Bora how it calls for her, how she loves what she sees, “Have I told you how beautiful you look yet?”

Dressed in a pastel pink double-breasted suit, satin lapels leading towards the pale valley of her sternum, twinkling diamonds resting regally on her neck, Bora stands taller (still not as tall as Yoohyeon or Minji) in her white heels, her hair in loose waves.

(She has. Many times. But she knows Bora likes hearing it).

Bora smirks, playful eyes twinkling when they look up at Yoohyeon, “Mmm...I don’t think so.”

Reflecting her teasing smile with an airy laugh, Yoohyeon softly holds Bora’s chin between her fingers, gently grazes her nose across her cheek, barely ghosts her lips along Bora’s. (When Bora’s eyes subconsciously close and she leans in to gravitate towards her touch like a magnet, Yoohyeon pulls away—enough that Bora has to hold tighter onto her waist to keep Yoohyeon close). 

Voice low and sweet, Yoohyeon’s lips form a small smirk when Bora’s chest heaves, her cheeks flushed. Smoothing out the lapels of Bora’s blazer, Yoohyeon nuzzles into her neck, traces her nose along the column of it before quietly lilting by her ear, “You look so sexy, baby. No one’s gonna know who to look at between you and Minji. And I wish I could just put this suit on the floor and you on the bed right now but, there’s-”

“I’m ready!”

Yanking them both out of their bubble, Minji stands in the middle of the room in a pastel pink, form-fitting, floor length gown, small, V-shaped cut outs at her obliques, the leg slit of the dress giving way to the pale skin of her thigh.

She’s jaw-dropping.

(No, literally. Bora and Yoohyeon stare with such open wonder, their mouths gaping and eyes slowly tracing up and down her body).

(Yoohyeon thinks that Minji doesn’t need a grand staircase and castle or an extravagant crown for her to be seen as a royalty, not when she looks so ravishing—even in their apartment studio in the middle of dirty, grungy New York).

Minji’s eyes glimmer with this knowing look, a confident up-turn of her lips. 

(Yoohyeon is all too aware of what it means. She supposes it’s only natural for Minji to feel confident when her two girlfriends are looking at her like Aphrodite herself forfeited her throne for her). 

Minji saunters over and closes their mouths by lightly pushing up at their jaws with her pointer and middle fingers. With the hooded look in Minji’s eyes, Yoohyeon feels her girlfriend’s desire in her laden gaze—the desire to kiss them almost overwhelming her.

(Yoohyeon can’t blame her. Her girlfriends just look so alluring—so tantalizing—and if it weren’t for their lipstick, she would already be pulling one of them closer and pressing her lips against theirs, turning to kiss the other because every kiss feels incomplete without it).

But it seems like Minji settles for sensually kissing the palms of their hands when she settles her gaze on the beautiful browns of their entranced eyes, shimmers of sticky lip-gloss faint on their skin, catching the light in their apartment. 

(This only makes everything so much harder, makes Yoohyeon wish they could cancel their evening plans just to spend their time tangled up in each other).

Smiling brightly as if Minji did not set fire to the warmth in their bellies and she is innocent of being the reason for their darkening eyes and racing hearts, her hands find theirs, “My two beautiful, handsome loves, are we ready to kiss so much ass tonight?”

Bora groans—long and exasperated. (As much as she loves to see her girlfriends all dressed up, stunning and so absolutely magnificent, she hates that they have to entertain the likes of too many men for the sake of humanity). 

Affectionately caressing her cheek, Minji pouts in sympathy, ‘I know, these galas suck. And I hate all the fake sincerity and business too, but it is what it is.”

(Bi-annually, Minji’s company holds galas where rich investors and sponsors come to feel generous in their pompous opulence. Cancer research requires a hefty amount of money and as much as Minji hates playing nice and faking laughter with people who are definitely objectifying her and her girlfriends, she does it to give herself and her team every opportunity possible to change the world. Breast cancer is the second leading cause for death and it has always been her passion in life to find a cure for it—some kind of treatment, any kind of way to lessen its devastating impact).

Sighing with finality and nodding in agreement, Bora just holds the hand gently cradling her cheek. “It’ll all be worth it in the end. Men just...make me feel icky.”

Minji laughs at that, breezily, a certain weight lifting off her shoulders, “Me too, baby. Just think of it like a game, you know? Just how much can we get from them by targeting their loneliness and deprivation of feminine company?”

Unable to stop her amusement, Yoohyeon barks out a high-pitched laugh at that and it’s like Minji and Bora’s disgruntlement vanishes—their smiles growing with a tangible fondness, their gazes on her shining with a love that glows. Getting the notification that their driver is nearby, Yoohyeon takes the hand that Minji offers out for her and Bora to hold.

As her fingers lace with hers, she feels strong with them by her side. A memory runs through her mind every time they leave for these ridiculous events—a memory that makes these galas a little more fun, a little more enjoyable. 

_Yoohyeon, on Minji’s left, jokes with a teasing sound in her voice, Bora on Minji’s right. “They let you in with these guns?”_

_Minji arches an eyebrow._

_“Are you calling yourself and Bora the guns?”_

_Yoohyeon just rolls her eyes, shakes her head like it’s obvious. Poking at her exposed biceps, Yoohyeon’s smile is playful and sweet, like she knows Minji needs to laugh and to feel at ease about the night ahead of her, “Nah, I’m talking about these! I think you and Cap would have a thrilling log-chopping contest! I think you'd win.”_

_(And whether it’s because she’s so wound up or life is just treating her harder than usual, Minji chortles a loud and joyous laugh at her silly joke—a laugh so genuine that her head tilts back and her eyebrows knit together in a V-shape)._

_It’s earnest and proud. Yoohyeon is always looking for ways to make Minji feel lighter—to bring happiness into her life because Minji deserves to know what it feels like to smile, to laugh, so hard that her heart sings with jubilee._

It wasn’t too long ago that Minji confided in them. In the tranquility of the night, Bora snuggled into her embrace and Yoohyeon’s arms slung over her shoulder, her nose nuzzled into her back. She had told them that it's much better now that Bora and her are there with her to weather the criticizing eyes and doubtful judgments. 

(Before, when it was just Minji at these galas, she lamented that she’d leave feeling used and defeated, disgusted that she has to sell some part of her soul just to do what she loves. It wasn’t easy for Minji, accepting that her beauty and charm are the major reasons for any investments or sponsorships she gets. Her merit is lost—all her hard work, her raging passion and extensive knowledge, her drive and accomplishments as a scientist, just, gone. But that doesn’t stop her from pushing, doesn’t stop her from being brave with her heart and talking about what matters most to her even if the whole room couldn’t care less). 

Yoohyeon lives with the honor, the privilege, to be there for her in tandem with Bora. They are Minji’s relief and buffer between all the polite formality and empty complimenting—gladly and willingly. 

They are, in every way, Minji’s strength when she needs it—her breath of fresh air, her moments of peace when everything feels so heavy and impossible.

(Minji has told them before, vulnerably brave, that life would be more miserable, these galas simply unbearable, has told them that her motivation would be lost somewhere in her lab and all the disappointing results—piles and piles and piles of failure after failure).

The gala is a glittering and glimmering affair, the room a beautiful sight. Yet, it pales in comparison when Minji glides in, Bora and Yoohyeon’s arms looped through hers.

(Yoohyeon thinks the whole room takes a moment to stare and realize that two angels have arrived. Yoohyeon just feels so lucky to be part of their celestial glow). 

It doesn’t take long for them to settle in with the guests, Minji and Bora needing a flute of champagne (or two) to chase away the bitterness and disgust of being pulled into meaningless conversation and feeling displayed. 

It’s hard, pretending she doesn’t want to go home and cuddle with Minji and Bora—preferably after rolling about in bed and showing them exactly how much she wants them. But Yoohyeon sucks it up and does her best trying to impress some snooty and overly confident entrepreneur. (It seems to be going well—he looks like he’d be willing to write a check the moment Minji asks). Bowing politely to him when the conversation ends, Yoohyeon glances around the room trying to find her girlfriends. 

Bora is by the bar, a charming smile situated on her lips, as she schmoozes. Even if she is across the room, her beguiling grin still shines so bright. 

(Judging by Minji’s information, her recollection tells Yoohyeon that she is entertaining the likes of an influential man in the medicine industry). 

Yoohyeon hears Minji before she sees her. Finding Minji not too far ahead of her, Yoohyeon’s breath catches in her throat. She looks so beautiful, her smile polite and saccharine sweet. But Yoohyeon catches the muted exhaustion clouding the radiance in her eyes—she’s positive that out of everyone in the room, only she and Bora would be able to see the toll of the night on her. Feeling like Minji’s shoulders only hunch more and more as the conversation goes, Yoohyeon makes her way over to act as some kind of lifeguard jacket to keep her afloat. Looking at Yoohyeon like she is the boat to take her stranded and weary body drowning at sea back to safety when she arrives, Minji welcomes Yoohyeon into the conversation with brighter eyes and that brilliant smile that she saves for her and Bora. 

Minji’s hand rests on the small of her back, silently and subconsciously seeking for her comfort. (It makes Yoohyeon feel so proud. Not just Minji finding safety in her. But her hand on her back makes Yoohyeon feel like she is good enough to be a part of her, good enough to be in Minji’s life, to be in her effervescent presence).

“Ah, Miss Kim, pleasure to meet you!”

Yoohyeon warmly shakes the man’s hand, musters all her effort to be on her best behavior. “Mr. Kang, I’ve read a lot on you. Congratulations on your recent acquisition of Medi-surance!”

The man smirks with cocky pride, happy to hear about his achievement. 

(Yoohyeon doesn’t notice the flash of astonished shock in Minji’s eyes when she turns towards her. It’s not that Minji expects the bare minimum from her girlfriends but Yoohyeon is always going out of her way to go above and beyond, to do her research on the guests that come to the gala—always doing what she can to impress them in Minji’s name).

The man holds Yoohyeon’s hand longer than she (and Minji) would like but Yoohyeon’s resilience is admirable as she bears the awkward handshake. When he speaks, there is an air of superiority, a biting and condescending snap in his voice, “Now, what is the likes of you doing at a gala like this?”

(Clearly, the guests can’t say the same about doing their research).

It’s not that Yoohyeon would need to be Minji’s plus one (technically plus two) to be invited. Being involved in the bioengineering field secured her invitation, but it helps that Minji always makes sure that her name is on the list of attendees.

“I’m a biomedical engineer, sir. I suppose Doctor Kim’s company sees fit that I belong.”

The man’s eyebrows shoot up, as if surprised that a woman is capable of such feats. 

(Yoohyeon hates being subjected to such blatant sexism. Mostly because she knows Minji and Bora see it too in their own interactions).

Like Minji senses Yoohyeon’s discomfort, she politely interjects, “I was just telling Mr. Kang about our team’s research and breakthroughs.”

Before he can reply, probably with an offensive remark about the lack of results in her studies, Yoohyeon smoothly beats him to the response, “Ah, yes! Doctor Kim is spearheading her research team and I know the results are inconclusive, as of now, but science is closer to finding a cure for breast cancer, more than ever before!”

Yoohyeon loves talking about Minji. Anything about her. Her smile, how her hair falls, what hair dye looks best on her (the answer: all), her adorable mannerisms, how she loves so wholeheartedly and selflessly. So, Yoohyeon naturally loves talking about Minji’s passion and love for what she does. If anything, talking about her girlfriend’s drive and intellect barely beats out talking about that goofy and deep laugh she does sometimes. (And Yoohyeon _loves_ that laugh). So, if she sounds proud, it’s because she is. Swelling in her chest like a balloon, the admiration Yoohyeon has for her girlfriend aches to be heard, aches to be seen.

Effectively shutting down his response, Yoohyeon continues, “I wish everyone could see the progress Doctor Kim has made. Figuring out a cure for cancer isn’t easy and it takes so many trials. I hope that when the future comes, people don’t have to fear death as much as they do now when there is a cure for it.”

Looking less hesitant now about the prospect about investing, the man regards them with an inch more of respect than he did before, “Hmm...I suppose you are right. I will be in touch with your company, Doctor Kim.”

Watching as he walks away, Yoohyeon smiles triumphantly, happy that there is a prospect for Minji to look forward to in her work.

Minji’s hand slides its way to her waist, her fingers gently curling around her.

Leaning in so that she doesn’t have to shout and doing what she can to have some privacy in her conversation, Minji’s nose just barely grazes along Yoohyeon’s temple, “You know you don’t have to call me Doctor Kim, Yoohyeonnie.”

Yoohyeon shrugs, gingerly plays with the fingers on her waist as they make their way towards Bora, “I know but this is a professional space. And even if we’re out and don’t necessarily hide, there’s a time and place for our relationship.” To prove her point, Yoohyeon loosely laces their fingers together, very briefly nuzzles into the softness of Minji’s blonde hair that is in light waves, “It felt like he’d take advantage of you if he knew about us and I don’t want his focus being on Bora and me. This is a “you” night, Ji. Bora and I are just here to look pretty and brag about your accomplishments.”

Minji looks at Yoohyeon like she might’ve hung the stars and moon in the sky, like the planets should revolve around her. Yoohyeon, despite all her clumsiness, is incredibly deft and thoughtful when she needs to be. Always, when it comes to Minji or Bora, Yoohyeon handles them and their love and their relationship with such fragile and delicate care—like should she fumble and hurt them, the world will just shatter into meaningless pieces of unrecoverable matter. 

(To some extent, it’s true. If Yoohyeon ever really hurt her two loves, she thinks she’d have to have a very serious conversation with herself to figure out the best way to rectify her mistake and never make it again).

Pulling Yoohyeon close and whispering into her ear, Minji battles the desire growing in her, her voice loving, “Yooh, if we weren’t in front of so many people right now, I’d kiss you so hard.”

Yoohyeon just smirks, nods towards the bathroom with a suggestive raise in her eyebrows. Her playful flirting pries a bright laugh from Minji’s lips, the weight on her shoulders easing away. 

(That doesn’t stop Minji from squeezing her waist and adding, “If we’re doing that, we’re bringing Bora too.” 

Yoohyeon can’t help but to laugh too, knows that it makes Minji feel proud to be the one to make someone so beautiful to laugh).

Approaching their girlfriend, Bora seems to be taking a moment of relief as she sits alone at the bar, swirling the straw in her cocktail. Beaming when she makes out Minji and Yoohyeon’s bodies coming closer, she feels revitalized and renewed after her energy was sapped away by the men who approached her. 

(At this point, Bora is an expert at spinning the conversation towards Minji and her purpose and ignoring any flirting or sexual advances—which, by the way, gross). 

Once they are close enough, Bora holds her hands out for them. “Do you know how tempting it is to be right in front of an open bar and _not_ order enough shots to make all of this bearable?”

Minji laughs, affectionately runs a hand through Bora’s hair. “Knowing you, it must be worse than when Yooh is exercising in front of us and you’re banned from being her weight.”

Bora just whines, tugs Yoohyeon close to wrap an arm around her waist, “She is so hot when she’s working out; I can’t help but to kiss!”

(Yoohyeon flushes, a dusting of light pink blooming on her cheeks as she smiles shyly and leans and hides her face in the curtain of Bora’s hair).

While Minji lingers for a little longer, it’s like all her pretenses fall away, her smile genuine and carefree. Happy to entertain her and provide a haven for her away from all the business of the gala, Bora and Yoohyeon earnestly try to keep that wondrous smile on Minji’s lips until she gets a notification on her phone. Checking it, Minji deflates, her relaxed shoulders becoming tight and locked. 

“Hang in there for a little longer? I think we’re almost done. I just have to talk to one more major investor and we can go home and cuddle.” Kissing their cheeks before leaving, Minji takes a breath to steel herself, to find her resilience once more.

Minji, as fantastic a scientist she is, is a beautiful conversationalist. She can sweep anyone away, her smile enchanting, her eyes warm and welcoming. Even from across the room, Bora and Yoohyeon watch as the investor becomes putty in her hands, his eyes following her when she leaves. The closer Minji gets, the more her facade drops, the burden of the night dropping heavily onto her shoulders. 

Yoohyeon doesn’t need to be a genius to know that Minji is in need of some peace and privacy, some alone time with just her and the two people she loves, a generous raining of affection and soft words from them. Taking a glance at Bora and the concerned frown her brows make, Yoohyeon knows that Bora sees it too. And when Bora worriedly looks back at Yoohyeon, the rest of the evening plans are made.

(Plans being cheer Minji up).

It only takes a look.

(But, of course, it is so much more than a look. It’s years of communication and disclosure, vulnerability and strength, breaking down and being built back up. And being a superhero has put Yoohyeon in extreme situations—situations where thinking is terribly difficult and all that is left behind is instinct. Extreme situations that drag the people she loves into her mess, drowning them in all her chaos. Situations where Yoohyeon is bleeding out and broken and dependent on Bora to get her to survive the night, situations where Minji has to drop everything she’s doing just to talk her through a vicious anxiety attack.

And for so long, Yoohyeon felt a biting guilt that ate through her—doubt that affirmed her burdensome presence—for giving Minji and Bora her superhero-sized trauma and violence. 

But, for so many years, Minji and Bora have done everything they can to show that Yoohyeon’s superhero-sized problems are nothing but specks of dust compared to the size of her golden heart. Hero or not, they try to show that Yoohyeon is everything that she is on her own—that without her heart, her powers are nothing, that they are only as good as she is. And because Yoohyeon is _so fucking good_ , her abilities and her intentions are always so pure.

Yoohyeon has tried playing martyr with them, distancing herself to save them from her issues. That only led to breaking their hearts.

Yoohyeon would hate to do that again. If she is everything that Minji and Bora need, she’d rather watch the world burn before giving them up again).

-

Yoohyeon has never been a fan of riding horses.

Rhino is no horse (for God’s sake, he’s human) but, hell, it feels like riding one as he charges and terrorizes the streets of New York in an effort of throwing Yoohyeon off of him. With her web slung around him, Yoohyeon does her best to steer him away from any citizens. 

(It’s not like cars are fair game, but New York is a bustling place and space is scarce. Yoohyeon just hopes that drivers will become aware of the commotion the Russian thug makes as he tramples through the city, hopes that the screaming and running will be enough to alert those on the road to vacate their cars).

Yoohyeon thinks that Pie would make a marvelous voice for GPS systems when she informs, “Yoohyeon, there is a construction site on 25th.”

Sharply veering to the left, Yoohyeon nearly tumbles off of Rhino when he thrashes and skids, his weight unable to maneuver around the sharp turn.

Tightening her grip on her webs, Yoohyeon knows she’s going to have to get to the construction site as soon as she possibly can—her webs can’t withstand this much pull without snapping; it had to have been a good four blocks of riding on Rhino’s back and trying to control him and avoiding civilian endangerment. 

(Normally, Yoohyeon would be making playful comment after comment, having fun with the city’s terrorizers but, Rhino is a big, volatile, sharp and pointy, polymer mass and pissing him off more than she already has isn’t the tactic to play).

Seeing the construction site coming up, she slings a shot up to one of the metal containers. As Rhino grunts angrily and charges towards her, Yoohyeon takes a quick scan of her environment.

She can’t beat him in a game of strength, no, Rhino is capable of chucking her across the site if he wanted to. (Behind killing her, that might be second on his list). Knowing that speed will be her advantage, Yoohyeon crafts up a plan.

Mayor Park isn’t going to be happy with her.

“Pie, how much does a crane weigh?”

Jumping from the metal container and using her agility to dodge his gunfire, Yoohyeon watches as a bullet nearly grazes her abdomen, her Spidey sense enhancing her awareness.

“According to my calculations, a standard crane can weigh up to 350 tons.”

Using a metal sheet to ward off a missile, Yoohyeon hopes that it doesn’t fling off into the building that looks to be almost complete—she’d hate to demolish all the work that was done.

‘Sweet! Let’s hope that 350 tons will be enough then!” 

Grunting as she slings her way towards him, Yoohyeon knows that the only way of doing this is using Rhino’s own strength against him. It’s all chaotic, dodging gunfire and a pointy horn that getting slugged across the site with a mighty punch is inevitable. Shaking off her disorientation, the hero fearlessly shoots a few webs at Rhino’s face armor, hoping to disrupt his vision. Whooping when she succeeds, she slings herself back up onto his back, ramming him into the crane. It creaks with a loud sound, but it merely vibrates in its place.

When Rhino throws her off of him again, Yoohyeon slings a few cinder blocks towards his head, advancing as soon as his face whips to the side. Getting back on top of him, she rams him into the crane again. Slightly winded by the exertion, Yoohyeon’s voice strains, “Pie! How mad do you think Mayor Park is gonna be?”

It only takes Pie a millisecond to reply, “She will be very mad, Yoohyeon.”

Tumbling off and skidding in the dirt for a second when Rhino throws her off again, Yoohyeon uses the momentum of her legs to roll back onto her feet. Finding a metal beam carefully placed against a metal container, she heaves it towards him, the smacking of the beam making a resounding _pang_ against his armor. Taking advantage of his stunned state, Yoohyeon webs up his face and rams him into the crane again. 

“No, like, on a scale, one to ten, how mad?”

“At least eleven.”

When Rhino wipes away at her webbing and bucks her off of him, Yoohyeon crashes into a metal container, her body slamming against it. Groaning in pain, Pie’s voice comes through, “Yoohyeon, it doesn’t look like this is working.”

Barely catching Rhino’s charging body in her peripheral, Yoohyeon is only able to evade the horn that is fully intending on impaling her. His armor knocks right into her stomach—the bruise is going to be a nasty color, the ramming impact eliciting a deep ache at her ribs.

(Yoohyeon wonders if it’ll be piss yellow or ube purple. She hopes it’ll be ube purple. Minji likes kissing her injuries or playfully biting her skin, her lips covering her teeth as she mocks nibbling. It’s just better off if her bruise is the color of food than anything else).

“Yeah, I figured. New idea, Pie! And Mayor Park will only be a little bit mad at me!”

Ducking under his arms and slinging towards a metal pipe that hangs, Yoohyeon waits for him to charge after her. When the positioning is right, she yanks the pipe down with her webs, the heavy metal collapsing over his head. Taking advantage of Rhino’s stupor and landing some hits on him, he falters under her barrage of attacks. Once he gains back his senses, Yoohyeon darts off to another metal container, yanking the doors open with the aid of her webs. 

Before she can sling away to another metal pipe on the other side of the site, Rhino is able to heave a weighty container at her, shaking her orientation. As she fights through the slight buzz, Rhino lands a devastating hit on her body, tossing her up like a rag doll before throwing her through a glass pane. (The sharp edges of the glass snag on her suit, its cutting sharpness digging stinging lacerations into her skin). 

“Yoohyeon, your suit has sustained some damage.”

Wincing when she shakes herself off and groans, Yoohyeon is only able to sling herself up to a light post to give herself a second to breathe and get the world right-side up, “I know; I feel it. Bora isn’t gonna be happy about it. I told her I’d try to come home without a scratch and now I’ve got gashes.”

Pie simply responds, “Bora will be more worried than mad.”

Taking advantage of being positioned behind Rhino, Yoohyeon swings towards him, straightening out her legs at impact to slam a strong kick against his back. 

“That’s even worse! I don’t like it when she has to worry!”

Getting herself back on Rhino and steering towards the metal pipe adjacent to him, as Yoohyeon dismounts, she shoots two webs at the pipe and lets her momentum bring it down with her weight. 

In the distance, Yoohyeon hears the sound of sirens, hopes that they’re coming for Rhino so that she can hastily evacuate the scene. If she hurries, she can still catch dinner. (Minji finally chose to make something that isn’t malatang and that’s exciting news all on its own).

Making quick work of agitating him and leading him to the open container like an angry bull, Yoohyeon rolls out of the way, the force of his charge hinging the doors to a close. Securely webbing the doors up and making sure that they won’t budge, Yoohyeon watches as S.H.I.E.L.D. agents take care of the thug from a skyscraper next to the site. 

Leaving with the knowledge that the worst is over, Yoohyeon only feels the brunt of the pain of her injuries when she lifts the window of their apartment. Ungracefully tumbling in, Yoohyeon is a tired starfish on their floor when she wearily pulls her mask off and taps at the middle of her chest to loosen the tightness of her suit. 

(Yoohyeon has come home in much worse shape, sometimes on the edge of passing out, sometimes needing a shoulder popped back in. So, by comparison, a couple of nasty cuts and bruises aren’t horrible but Yoohyeon really wishes her girlfriends wouldn’t have to go through the worry and haste of patching her up. 

It’s not that she feels guilty about it, it’s just that Minji and Bora don’t deserve to play nurse every time she comes back from her hero duties. No matter how they tell her they don’t mind, Yoohyeon doesn’t like being a burden.

(Okay, so maybe it is guilt—she has a chronic hero complex; it’s only natural that its best friend, the guilt complex, comes along too). 

But, while guilt makes a home in her gut, she cannot deny that this is where she feels safest—with Minji and Bora. There is no other place for her where she can crumble and be weak and vulnerable without feeling like she is being entirely selfish. They make it so that caring for her is their desire, that being her crutch is their honor. 

They make her feel like she can be human—flawed and broken, but still, beautiful and whole in her own magnificent, fragmented way. 

And plus, all Yoohyeon wants is to fulfill everything that Minji and Bora need. So, if coming home injured and bleeding and allowing for herself to be cared for is one way, so be it).

While Minji does her best to finish cooking without getting distracted, Bora goes through the process of cleaning each of her injuries and patching them up. (Although, it’s extremely hard for her to focus when Yoohyeon is wincing and whining in pain on their couch where Bora carefully moved her to take care of her). 

Relaxing with anesthesia cream on her cuts and painkillers to help with the bruising and pounding headache, Yoohyeon rests on the couch, her head on Bora’s lap while Minji cooks. 

“Your stitchwork is so nice, babe.”

Bora smiles, amusement in her eyes, the nagging of her panic and worry at a whisper after seeing the goofy grin on Yoohyeon’s lips. Leaning down and folding over to softly kiss her, Bora feels any lingering anxiety melt away. “I’d hope so! I kinda do it for a living, Yooh.”

Yoohyeon lovingly takes the hand in hers and presses the back of it to her lips. The awe in her voice is tangible, the admiration she feels shining vibrantly, “You’re so good at what you do, can you teach me?”

Tracing her finger lightly along the slope of Yoohyeon’s nose and imprinting every lovable detail to each crevice of her mind, Bora feels the love in her heart bubbling, growing, for the selfless woman in her lap. “Right now?”

Yoohyeon hums, her tummy grumbling when she smells the fragrant scent of ramen wafting from the kitchen. 

“Maybe after dinner?”

Bora nods happily, kisses Yoohyeon’s forehead affectionately as she runs her fingers through her hair. 

It’s serene lazing around with Bora. It only gets better when Minji finishes cooking and approaches them, kneeling down on the floor to be level with Yoohyeon. Pouting as she looks at the cuts on Yoohyeon’s cheek and nose, Minji just leans forward to press kisses next to them before sweetly sliding hers between Yoohyeon’s. Sighing into the kiss, Yoohyeon’s hand buries itself in Minji’s hair, finally feeling complete. 

Minji’s nose nuzzles against her, a relieved smile on her lips, “I’ll kiss all your injuries later but food’s ready, my loves.”

After eating and doing what she can to clean up, Yoohyeon’s tongue peeks out in concentration as her eyebrows furrow together. Minji’s head rests on Yoohyeon’s shoulder as she watches how her girlfriend works on stitching up one of her Rilakkuma plushies that Bora cut through.

(With Bora’s patient and repetitive instruction, Yoohyeon has managed to messily and clumsily stitch up one of Minji’s bears twice).

Fondness in her gaze when she looks up at Yoohyeon, a loving smile sits on Minji’s lips, “Is this gonna be a successful surgery, doctor?”

It takes a moment for Yoohyeon to respond, her focus entirely dialed on stitching as neatly as possible. Finishing up, Yoohyeon’s work is far from perfect but it does the job. Wiping her brow in dramatics, Yoohyeon kisses the top of Minji’s head, “He’ll live, ma’am.”

Minji giggles, Bora leans over to leave a proud and congratulatory kiss on Yoohyeon’s lips.

(As much as Minji loves her Rilakkuma plushie, she loves it a whole lot more when she looks at Yoohyeon’s stitchwork—it just might be her new favorite).

It only takes another week for Yoohyeon to come back after her Spidey duties needing stitches. This time, she stopped some gang fights, but not without sustaining some damage. It’s late and the floor creaks as she walks. Being more careful with her steps and hoping that the kitchen light doesn’t leak under their bedroom door, Yoohyeon searches for the first aid kit that Bora has since left outside. Finding it by the TV, Yoohyeon grits her teeth while disinfecting her gashes, doing everything she can to keep quiet. With her mask on their kitchen table and her suit left on the floor, Yoohyeon sits by it to stitch up a deep laceration by her hip, the kitchen towel clenched in between her teeth as she works. 

Despite the pain she is in, the only sounds she makes are the heavy breaths she takes as she stitches the needle and thread through her skin. Even without anesthesia cream, her stitching is neat and clean—almost as good as Bora’s—and it makes her feel proud of herself. All she can think of is Bora teaching her how to stitch and that patient smile and her proud eyes while she patches up the cut on her thigh, feels so grateful to have someone like Bora by her side. 

(When Bora wakes up the next day, her night of fitful sleep is telling enough that Yoohyeon didn’t make it to their bed. Yet, as she steps out and into her slippers, she nearly trips over Yoohyeon’s arm that is splayed out on the floor, light snores leaving her nose. 

(It’s not that Yoohyeon enjoys sleeping on the floor. She just hates disrupting their sleep after the long and tiring days that they’ve had even if Minji and Bora are adamantly persistent about reassuring her. 

Yoohyeon is just _more_ adamantly persistent about being painfully selfless).

Shaking her head with affectionate annoyance, Bora leans down to carefully pick Yoohyeon up, her eyebrows knitting together in worry when Yoohyeon’s shirt rides up and shows the cut by her hip. Cautiously laying her down on the bed, Bora is patient with her movement as she flips Yoohyeon’s shirt up. Besides the stitched-up laceration, there are little cuts littered around her stomach, bruises that haven’t healed yet from two nights ago accompanied with new ones from the night before. 

All Bora does is sigh heavily, wishes that the world could stop for a moment just so that Yoohyeon can have a moment to breathe—to have peace, to not get hurt saving a city that doesn’t deserve her).

When Yoohyeon wakes up, there are painkillers on the bedside table and food left on the stove for her. On the fridge, beside the heartwarming picture of Minji and Bora squishing their cheeks against Yoohyeon’s, notes from them are pinned under the Spiderwoman magnet and a subconscious smile tugs at her lips. 

_Yoohyeonnie,_

_Please sleep on the bed next time. Cold beds are the worst and ours was freezing without you :(_

  
  


_\- Bboya_

_PS: good job on the stitching baby <3_

_PPS: I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!_

Her grin grows even larger when she reads Minji’s note beside it. 

_My love,_

_I made some food for you when you wake up <3_

_Bora and I are gonna do some errands so you better rest and not push yourself >:( _

  
  


_\- Minji_

_PS: I’m gonna kiss alllllllllllll of your injuries when we get home :3_

-

Yoohyeon isn’t aware but the papers in Minji’s hands tremble. That’s unusual for her. Normally, she is able to support her weight without a single shake. Frowning, Minji checks in on her. “Baby, am I too heavy?”

Yoohyeon, on her forearms and toes as she planks, doesn’t even sound winded, her voice crystal clear even if she faces the mat below her, “No, but my back is itchy.”

Running her hand across Yoohyeon’s back from where she sits cross-legged, Minji asks, “Where? Upper? Lower?” as she seeks out the irritation. 

Minji only stops when Yoohyeon abruptly interjects with a sharp inhale, “There.” A low moan escapes from her lips when Minji lightly scratches between her shoulder blades. (Minji has admitted, much to Yoohyeon’s shy embarrassment, that it’s beyond her how she can focus on her work considering how much she likes Yoohyeon’s muscles and how she can see the taut lines of them from where she usually sits). Voice sounding relieved when Yoohyeon thanks her, Minji just wipes the sweat at the back of Yoohyeon’s neck with her sleeve. Leaning down to leave a sweet kiss there, she grins proudly at how Yoohyeon’s body shivers underneath her, those goddamn irresistible muscles rippling. 

(Yoohyeon’s form is immaculate. Situated low and steady with her back straight and glutes squeezed, she doesn’t falter under the weight of being sat on—as if Minji is a feather resting on her back. Yet, for a woman so strong, something as little as kisses are enough for her arms to shake, her hips to dip. It does wonders for Minji’s confidence and self-esteem).

More stable now that her back is itch-free, Yoohyeon is able to seamlessly support her girlfriend while she reads her notebook.

“So, you’re telling me that you came up with most of this formula while you were bored at work?”

Yoohyeon quietly grunts as she reaches out her left arm and right leg, needing a challenge in her plank. Taking a moment to find her balance again, Yoohyeon replies, “I wanted to improve my webbing. It’s strong but I know it can be stronger. I’m just trying to figure out how.”

Minji hums as she looks over her notes.

It’s endlessly endearing to Yoohyeon how Minji decided to take up another venture of chemistry, as a hobby, just to better understand Yoohyeon and her webbing. As soon as Yoohyeon told her and Bora about her identity, Minji quickly got onto learning different chemical compounds and elements—not for any particular reason, just curious about what helps Yoohyeon accomplish such incredible feats. However, her extensive knowledge seems to be more beneficial than planned because something illusive sits at the front of her brain. 

From the list that Yoohyeon has written out, she has an array of chemicals and measurements written out, some question marks littered through her notes. “Have you tried making this yet, Yooh?”

Switching her hands and legs, Yoohyeon breathes deeply, keeping her abs contracted to achieve maximum effect. “Yeah, it’s in my bag.”

Gracefully getting off of her, Minji rifles through her bag while Yoohyeon alternates to diamond push-ups in the meantime. Finding the tube of web fluid, Minji attaches it to one of Yoohyeon’s web-shooters and wears it on her wrist. Experimentally aiming at one of Yoohyeon’s arms as she rests in a high plank, Yoohyeon’s reaction time is slow, her Spidey-sense asleep knowing that there is nothing to alert her of.

With the webbing stuck on her forearm, Yoohyeon looks up at Minji with playful suspicion in her eyes.

“What are you doing?”

Minji just smiles, mischief in her eyes when she tugs. As a high-pitched laugh bubbles past Yoohyeon’s lips when her hand slides out from under her and her form collapses, Minji’s laugh gleefully dances along with hers. Rolling over onto her back, Yoohyeon watches as her girlfriend approaches her to kneel beside her. Committing the love and exuberant shine in Minji’s smile to her heart, Yoohyeon feels tranquil happiness wash over her body, feels it as the tips of her toes tingle.

When Minji leans down to quickly kiss her, Yoohyeon’s hand rests on her nape, pulls her in for a deeper kiss when she tries to back away.

Minji’s voice is coy and light when she nuzzles her nose against hers, “It works.”

Yoohyeon laughs, drags Minji into a tight embrace, loves how she giggles into her neck. Playing with Minji’s hair, Yoohyeon hums a lighthearted sound, “I know it does, but I need it to pull a crazy amount of weight, Ji, and last time I checked, I barely registered 120 pounds.”

When Minji rises on her hands, she balances herself on one to fix Yoohyeon’s messy bangs with her other. With a sweet smile and loving eyes, Minji reassures her, “I’ll look at it some more. I’m sure we’ll figure it out, Yoohyeon-ah.” 

Enjoying the serenity of being so close to her girlfriend, Yoohyeon cards her hand through Minji’s hair, feels her heart grow behind her chest—the love it feels ballooning.

“You look so pretty, baby.”

Minji just flushes a light pink, a flattered smile on her lips, when she leans back down to press an amorous kiss against Yoohyeon’s.

Content to lay on the floor and give herself the pleasure of being lost in everything that is Minji, the unlocking of their door meets dead ears, Bora’s footsteps quiet and light since she took off her shoes by the doorway. With her hands on her hips and a playful pout on her lips, Bora whines out, “You started without me!”

As Bora drops her bag, Minji quickly rolls off before Bora can playfully push her off. 

“Me next! Me next!” 

With Minji’s help, Yoohyeon rises up to her feet. It only takes her opening her arms for Bora to scramble into them, her arms wrapped around her in a tight hug. Kissing her temple and basking in Bora’s presence, Yoohyeon feels like everything is complete, like everything is as it should be.

So, while Yoohyeon bends down to squat with Bora as her weight, Minji relaxes on the couch, Yoohyeon’s notes open, as she researches possible ways to improve her webbing fluid.

It doesn’t take too long for Yoohyeon to breathlessly plop Bora on the couch with flushed cheeks and a new blooming dark spot on her pulse point.

“Got distracted?”

Yoohyeon shyly nods, kisses Bora once more before heading to her squat rack in the corner of the room.

Before Yoohyeon lowers down to her bench press, her gaze lingers on her girlfriends: Bora’s content and cocky (yet, cute) smile while she rests her head on Minji’s shoulders, Minji and her wired circle-framed glasses focusing on her notes and her laptop. And as she bench presses an easy hundred pounds for warm up, the happy sounds of Bora raining her affection on Minji is like music to her ears.

(It sounds like Minji’s bright and carefree giggle, Bora’s happy and jubilant laughter. It’s heaven).

Only three days pass by when Minji excitedly calls her during her break, Yoohyeon hiding in the bathroom to take the call.

“Yooh! I figured it out!”

Yoohyeon blinks and pauses, wonders what she could be talking about.

“The ending for _The Call_?”

(They had watched the movie last night after dinner and the three of them went to sleep feeling extremely confused, left to mull about the ending).

When Minji talks, she speaks rapidly, her excitement tangible, “No no no, the web fluid! It’s strong, but it needs more stabilizers! Using BHA will stabilize the free radicals and purifying it with silica gel at the end will help it absorb moisture quicker. It’ll be extremely effective!” 

As she rambles, the grin on Yoohyeon’s lips is grand and irrevocably endeared. 

(There’s something so wonderful about Minji’s passion, about her desire to help Yoohyeon with her own endeavors. 

It’s just another way that Minji is taking care of her, another way that Yoohyeon is feeling unequivocally loved—like she is putting her interests first).

Minji is pure thrill and enthusiasm as she continues, “And if you wanna go crazy, Yooh, if you change your nylon webs into carbon nanotubes, the tensile strength will _easily_ increase.” 

As if feeling radicalized, Yoohyeon quickly catches on, as equally thrilled, “Then I can bundle them together with high energy irradiation to improve strength and durability! God, Minji, you’re a fucking genius! I love you so much!”

Even if Yoohyeon can’t see Minji, she can hear her smile through the phone, hear it in how she laughs and says, “I love you,” back.

This feeling that builds and builds—this love that just grows and grows—shines and shimmers and it makes Yoohyeon feel like she is special, like she is precious.

Not as the hero that she is, but as the woman that she is.

When Yoohyeon uses Minji’s webbing formula the next time she ventures out as Spiderwoman, the differences are subtle, her web solidifying a little more efficiently. It’s only when Pie notifies her of the A Train bulleting towards the 4, its brakes busted and broken, that Minji’s formula gets put to the test. 

Stopping a speeding subway is no Rhino but it’s still hard work. Swinging ahead of the track and crawling on the roof of the subway tunnel, she slings her webs to the rails of the train and yanks up at it, grunting as the industrial construction of the track fights against her force. Still, it’s noticeably easier pulling at it, her webs’ strength aiding her effort. 

As Yoohyeon swings to the back of the train, a bubbling pride simmers in her blood. Being Spiderwoman and using Minji’s formula to help her feels like carrying Minji with her in her adventures, feels even closer to her than before—like Minji is part of her. 

(And if Minji is part of her, there is nothing she can’t do).

“According to my calculations, the 4 Train is expected to arrive in sixty seconds.”

Zipping quickly, she bears her weight down. 

“Pie, the only experience I have is stopping a Ford Focus. Think I can do this?”

Shooting out two webs at the back of the subway, Yoohyeon nearly gets yanked with it, the sheer force and weight of its speed dragging her away from stability. 

“A subway train is approximately 82,000 pounds. A Ford Focus is 4,500 pounds at its heaviest. The probability is low, but I believe in you, Yoohyeon.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Pie!” Grunting with exertion and digging her feet into the floor and grounding her weight down, the subway only slows the slightest bit. 

A subway train feels like hundreds of Ford Focus’s and it takes real effort to slow it down. As each second passes, the speed falters dramatically, the horns from the 4 Train sounding with urgency, Pie counting down the time. 

“30 seconds.”

Wracking her brain for another idea, it hits her like a truck. Briefly letting go of her webs, turning around and shooting her webs behind her, she hunkers down and pulls the opposite way, taking slow and heavy steps. 

Just like how she dragged Bora and Minji across the floor of our apartment on one of their bed sheets because they found it thrilling, Yoohyeon shouts with exertion as she pulls. 

If she had her webs from before, they’d have snapped by now, the speed of the train fleeting and quick. But Minji’s formula stands strong as she heaves and pulls. 

“10 seconds.”

Grunting and shouting once more to endure her weighty struggle, she digs into her motivation to heave a mighty haul forward. Feeling the subway halting to a stop, Yoohyeon collapses onto the floor from the change of motion, her body exhausted when she rolls over onto her back. 

The 4 Train passes by peacefully without a single scratch and looking at her web shooters, all Yoohyeon can think about is Minji—about the absolute hero that she is in her own genius—for had she not helped, Yoohyeon never would have been able to stop a moving force as vicious as a speeding train. 

As Yoohyeon swings her way to her favorite deli to pick up a sandwich, she sings _Stop This Train_ to herself, thinks about how lucky she is to have someone as compassionate as Minji in her life. 

-

Ever since dating Minji and Bora, Yoohyeon’s cooking has improved dramatically. It helps that Bora is, like, one star away from hitting Michelin status and Minji seems to cook just as well, like the way her mother ~~does~~ did. 

So, whenever Minji has her exhausting days of entertaining her investors and sponsors, Yoohyeon will take up the mantle of cooking. Or, whenever Bora has a major operation, Yoohyeon will do her best to cook the best fucking meal ever to cheer her on and another to congratulate her after her work.

Bora has a major surgery to lead the next day and the stress of it has been heavy on her shoulders and mind. It isn’t easy, operating on kids and teens. Yoohyeon and Minji have spent many nights comforting Bora through her tears, her lamenting on how unfair it is that the world would subject innocent youth to the hardships of cancer or disability.

And that is why Yoohyeon is bustling around their kitchen trying to make jeonbokjuk.

(Bora has been on an abalone kick and lately, it’s all she has been wanting to eat lately. It’s a good thing that Minji has a knack for enjoying a certain food for a few weeks until she needs a break from it and right now, abalone is her Food of the Month. 

Yoohyeon is just good at putting aside her wants for something as silly as food, so even if it may get tiresome eating abalone for the fourteenth time in a week and a half, the content happiness Bora and Minji dances with when they eat is worth it).

While scrubbing the abalone clean, some part of Yoohyeon thinks she should have gotten the abalone that is already cleaned and shucked, but she felt adamant about making this purely on her own. So, after cleaning and learning how to shuck the abalone, it takes her another hour and a half to whip up the porridge, just in time for Bora’s arrival after working.

(It might’ve taken her a shorter time if she didn’t have to bat Minji’s grabby hands away for “samples” despite giving her plenty of taste tests before. 

It also doesn’t help that Minji is scarily good at distracting Yoohyeon when she wants to, Yoohyeon having to push away the hand caressing her abdomen under her shirt on multiple occasions.

“I know what you’re doing!”

Minji feigns innocence with her big, pouty eyes, “What am I doing? Can’t I touch my beautiful girlfriend?”

Yoohyeon squints at her with suspicion, “You can but you can’t _seduce_ me for food! Bora will be home soon! Then, we can all eat!”

Minji just cheerily laughs, finesses one more taste test before setting the table up).

Even if Minji has assured Yoohyeon that her cooking is delicious, Yoohyeon still watches with bated breath when Bora takes her first bite. Feeling relief flood through her when Bora’s eyes light up and her entire body perks up, free of the stress from her day, Yoohyeon happily digs into her own bowl.

(It’s not that Yoohyeon needs to cook and go out of her way to support Bora but she loves doing it, loves showing her that she is by her side to cheer her on and be depended on.

It’s one thing to be depended on as the city’s hero and another to be depended on by her girlfriends. Because the city expects her to be their savior, perfect in every way possible, their own sacrificial lamb. Minji and Bora just expect her to come home and be safe, to love and cherish them, to choose them just as they choose her.

And Yoohyeon, she has so much affection for them in her heart that there’s nothing else she can do _but_ love and cherish).

Spending the rest of night pampering Bora just the way she likes (meaning Minji and Yoohyeon just roll with all of the affection and fondness Bora has for them through her passionate way of cuddling and teasing tickle fights), Bora is sandwiched between Yoohyeon and Minji, feeling safe and protected.

And in the operation room, when it’s just Bora and her team, she still carries Minji and Yoohyeon in her heart, feels their comfort radiate from within her, feels confident in her spot as the head surgeon. 

But life is cruel.

Because while Minji and Yoohyeon are cooking jjimdak the next night, Bora comes home looking sullen and desolate, her shoulders hunched, the effervescent light within her snuffed out.

And even if they haven’t added the glass noodles yet, they stop everything they’re doing to be whatever Bora needs. 

(Dinner can wait.

The entire fucking world can wait if Bora is feeling grim.

Because what’s the point of the galaxy existing when its sun does not shine)?

Watching as Bora takes heavy steps into their bedroom, she heads into the darkness to burrow into their bed.

Turning off the stove and cautiously approaching Bora, Yoohyeon kneels by the bed. Speaking softly and lightly as if her voice might even hurt her, Yoohyeon does her best to give Bora her space in case that is what she needs.

“We’ll be outside, okay, baby? Whatever you need, we’ll be it.”

Bora doesn’t respond, just stiffly nods her head.

Yoohyeon looks at the crowtit nightlight on Bora’s bedside table and asks, “Do you want me to turn on your light?”

Bora’s voice is rough and low, telling of how heavy the sorrow is in her heart and mind, “Please.”

As much as Yoohyeon wants to hold Bora in her arms and take away the misery that she feels, she knows that life doesn’t work like that.

She can’t take away someone’s pain no matter how much she wants to.

And even someone as touchy and affectionate as Bora needs her space.

So, Yoohyeon just leaves after tapping her light on, waits and hopes that Bora will come back to them soon.

It’s late when Bora shuffles out of their room. But Minji and Yoohyeon are still awake, Yoohyeon’s head on Minji’s shoulders as she plays with her fingers and they talk quietly—their minds left with Bora in their bedroom. 

The light is dim but Yoohyeon recognizes her own favorite brown hoodie that Bora swims in, Minji’s black fuzzy jacket layered over it. It’s wordless how Bora climbs onto Minji’s lap and burrows her face into her neck and how she cries into her embrace. 

And as Bora’s broken heart mends, Yoohyeon wishes she could stitch it up the way Bora does her injuries, wishes that she can take care of Bora the way she does for her.

But, when they head to bed together, Bora curls into Yoohyeon, nuzzles her head under Yoohyeon’s and clutches onto her like she is her anchor. And it’s not like Yoohyeon can pull a needle and thread to close the gash on Bora’s heart, but she can hold her, can comfort her with the best of what she has.

And all Yoohyeon has is her heart—it’s the best part of her, Bora’s most favorite part of her. So, Bora doesn’t cry into her, her tears all wicked up by Minji’s sweater. But Bora does feel stronger in Yoohyeon’s arms, so she shares the burden that she carries.

“I couldn’t...we couldn’t find the tumor until it was too late.”

Bora pauses, holds Yoohyeon even tighter, “She uh- she does shot put, shoe in for college admissions because of how good she is.”

Bora struggles through her next words, her heart spilling its grief, “We had to amputate her forearm in order to cut off the cancer. And of course, it had to be her fucking throwing arm. She was...devastated after waking up from the procedure. She tried to not show it and she was really grateful, but I could see it in her eyes. She just looked so hopeless.”

Bora subconsciously holds her own right arm, in absence of the girl’s, “She had such a bright future, and we couldn’t save it. I know we got rid of the tumor, but I hate that it had to come at the consequence of ruining her dreams.”

Life is a fragile affair. It’s delicate and so easily changed by singular effects that domino into more. 

Sometimes it’s blissfully beautiful, like how Yoohyeon stumbled into Minji and Bora’s life.

Sometimes it’s wrought with wretched sadness, like watching life and hope seep away from someone’s heart.

So, all Yoohyeon does is hold Bora through her vulnerability, gives what Bora needs most and that is her silent support and secure embrace.

The next morning when Yoohyeon heads to work, she familiarizes herself with myoelectric prostheses, sketches out a potential build for a bionic arm. Building off of previous research, Yoohyeon works on making an arm that is capable of carrying a maximum of twenty-five pounds, more than enough to carry and throw a shot put. 

It takes Yoohyeon tireless months to perfect it, another few months for the state to approve it. Even if she only needs one, hundreds get made in production in the name of her company.

The first person to receive it is Bora’s patient—a Fighter Arm, for the ones who wrestle with their hardships to be stronger.

Bora has told her before, and will always tell her, that Yoohyeon is a hero with or without her radioactive spider bite—insists that Yoohyeon’s heart is too good for this shitty, rotten world. 

Yoohyeon just might begin to believe that she is worth more than what her suit and web-slinging does for her.

  
  



	2. bad habits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's too much to ask for peace, too greedy to ask for more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's part two!! 
> 
> enjoy!!

Yoohyeon would kill for some peace and quiet.

Okay, no, she wouldn’t kill, but regardless, it’d be nice to have a good month, hell, even week, of not needing to be Spiderwoman.

But, alas, with all the nemeses she makes for trying to save the people of New York and fighting for justice, bad luck attaches to her like a leech. If it’s not Rhino, it’s Sandman, and if it’s not Sandman, it’s Shocker. This time, lucky her, it’s a two for one.

Naturally, Vulture and Electro, somehow, broke out of Ryker’s and are out on a terrifying rampage ripping through New York City, hurting anyone and everyone.

And, of course, it’s not like Yoohyeon can turn a blind eye to them even if it’s their weekly date night.

(Yoohyeon even planned to cheer Minji up after meeting yet another dead end with her research).

So, in the middle of cooking samgyeopsal while watching the news, Minji and Bora are left in charge of the rest of dinner as Yoohyeon swings away from their apartment, heading straight for the villainous duo.

_“I’ll try to be quick! I really wanna show you two something cool that I can do.”_

_(Yoohyeon has been trying mindful yoga to build up her mental fortitude, thinks that practicing mindfulness might help her recenter and be kinder to herself. She wasn’t expecting that she’d be able to master the peacock pose on the way there but it’s a cool party trick to brag about that her girlfriends will definitely love to see)._

It’s a rainy day in New York.

It’s not the best weather, but it’s not like she can tell Mother Nature to stop taking care of her creation.

(Yoohyeon is just happy that her suit is waterproof and that she doesn’t have to worry about getting wet—getting sick is really not the best. Not just because she’ll have to take off of work and Minji and Bora will most likely spend _even more_ time worrying about her, but also because her Spidey powers can weaken if she gets extremely sick. And, truly, New York is a chaotic dump of crime and violence, and its need for more justice and Spiderwoman is greater than Yoohyeon is even able to articulate).

Yoohyeon can hope that each time she wears her mask, she can be relegated to the easier crimes to take care of—gang fights, drug deals, a casual robbery. But, while the cops can help her on offenses like that, there is very little help she can get when she’s fighting heinous villains like Electro and Vulture.

And, God, is it difficult. 

Because as Yoohyeon fights on the rooftop of a looming skyscraper so that all their attention is on her instead of innocent civilians, this night is weighing heavily on her.

It starts with finding Electro and Vulture trying to terrorize New Yorkers.

As much as Yoohyeon tries to redirect their attention to her, her favorite deli shop owner goes outside of their shop at the wrong time.

There’s a deepening pit of grief in her stomach as she fights, tears watering in her eyes. Being confronted with the sight of the owner still and laid out on the floor, Vulture’s knife projectiles lodged in his throat, Yoohyeon keeps going back to that split second.

Even if she had tried to protect him, she failed to notice him earlier on, slinging the blue mailbox just a millisecond too late. 

Maybe, if she hadn't been trying to avoid Electro’s lightning strikes, she would have been able to save him. Thinks that, maybe if she had paid more attention to her surroundings, the owner would still be alive.

Yoohyeon hates that his family is waiting for him to come home, waiting for their dad to kiss them good night.

It’s cruel.

Then, it leads to Yoohyeon chasing Vulture as he flies to the sky, Electro hot on her tail. 

It’s already hard as it is, fighting them alone. But as Vulture and Electro work together, Yoohyeon doesn’t have a single moment to process and think. It’s only thanks to her instincts that she is able to keep up with them. Even if she’s able to land her own effective hits on them mid-swing, all she sees is the deli shop owner and a green-lit knife protruding from his throat. 

Taking advantage of her distraction, Electro sends a searing lightning strike towards her. As if getting hurt wasn’t enough, when she attempts to zip to him with her right hand, her web shooters fail to work, the contraption thoroughly fried.

“Your right web-shooter is offline.”

Swinging to a more secure place on the skyscraper, Yoohyeon ducks behind a concrete ledge.

“Two bad guys and one working shooter. This isn’t looking good, Pie.”

Rolling away when Vulture sends a knife strike, Pie responds, “No, it isn’t, Yoohyeon.”

Cursing to herself, Yoohyeon doesn’t even get a chance to make up a game plan when Electro employs the rain to his advantage, the devastating combined effect of the ground current and electrocution weakening her to the point of immobility. 

When Vulture picks her up, pounding hit after hit at her head with a maniac sneer on his lips, her body screams in agony, the extreme pain is nearly cataclysmic—feels like being displaced in her own body as she watches herself limply lay in his grasp. Feeling like her brain is knocked around to the point of mush and her body is ineffably incapacitated, the next thing she knows is that she is free-falling from the fucking Empire State Building, unable to move—to save herself. When she crashes onto the top of a car, the pain is catastrophic, feels like her ribs have shattered into millions of tiny fragments, feels like some part of her spine digs into her lungs.

Struggling to breathe, it takes an enormous effort for her to speak, “Pie?”

Even Pie sounds distorted, her suit’s capabilities declining with her, “Yes, Yoohyeon?”

With a broken voice, a wheezing sound, Yoohyeon tastes blood in her mouth, “Call Bora. Send location.” 

After rolling off of the car so that Bora and Minji won’t have to struggle with carrying her off of it, everything is a blur.

All she remembers is Bora’s distraught eyes looking at her as she and Minji find her slumped on the floor, no doubt looking haggard and wrecked beyond comparison. 

It’s bad. Yoohyeon knows it’s bad because she’d never call Bora out from her safety to save her unless she absolutely could not bear to move.

All Yoohyeon thinks about is the rain soaking Bora and Minji as they struggle to pull her to an alley, Bora’s nursing bag with her. She hopes that they won’t fall ill. And even if the rain pours, Yoohyeon knows that Bora works on her injuries with tears rolling down her cheeks, Minji holding her hand as she silently cries, her hand trembling as she caresses Yoohyeon’s cheeks over her mask.

There’s not much Bora can do, her work incomplete when she surrenders, “Yooh...I can’t do anything for you here. We have to go to the hospital.”

Yoohyeon grunts, reaches up to cradle Bora’s cheek in her hand, “Whatever you need. I trust you.”

So, as Bora rushes to the hospital, Yoohyeon lays in the back seat of her car with her head supported by Minji’s lap, clutching onto her ribs, doing everything she can to remind herself that this pain is temporary, that Minji and Bora will take care of her.

The last thing she remembers before passing out is Minji temporarily rolling up her mask, her soft lips pressing against her cheeks—both to give herself the comfort of asserting that the girl she loves is still alive and to give Yoohyeon the comfort of her touch.

When Yoohyeon wakes up, she is wearing a white hospital gown, Minji and Bora sitting beside her, Bora’s head on Minji’s shoulder.

Noticeably, her body doesn’t ache as much as it did before, her ability to breathe no longer labored and difficult.

She is also still wearing her mask.

Really, all Yoohyeon wants to do is take it off, to see the people that she loves without the filter of her mask. But that would only diminish the lengths Bora and Minji had to go through to keep her identity secret. Wanting some water, however, she rolls up her mask, wishes that she had her web shooter to bring the cup and pitcher of water closer to her. However, unwilling to wake her girlfriends up from their sleep, Yoohyeon chooses to deal with it, her gaze focusing on Minji and Bora.

The more time Yoohyeon looks at them, the more and more guilty she feels for being this massive burden on their shoulders.

The night was supposed to end with Minji being sandwiched between her and Bora, Yoohyeon was supposed to show off her cool yoga pose, and everything was supposed to be _fine_.

But being Spiderwoman isn’t a peaceful experience. It’s smothered with responsibility and duty, violence and chaos—nemeses right and left looking to hurt her, kill her. 

Peace and quiet is never an option for her.

And some part of Yoohyeon thinks that she doesn’t deserve this—people who’d drop everything for her. Thinks that Minji and Bora don’t deserve to spend their date nights operating on her, fretting about her, waiting for her to wake up and feel better. 

The thought doesn’t last too long, Minji shifting awake and bringing Bora along with her as she moves.

How could such noxious thoughts exist when the first thing Minji and Bora do after waking up is shower her with care and affection?

How could such a grim reality stand a chance when Yoohyeon is willing to be greedy once more and allow herself the bliss and beauty and tranquility of being loved to ignore the simple fact that echoes in the back of her mind?

_“What happened?”_

_Bora looks disturbed and grievous, that bright smile that was on her lips dropping in a flash._

_“Yooh, you almost died. You...were choking on your blood at one point.”_

_No matter how Bora and Minji ultimately welcome her back with smiles and unconditional care, Yoohyeon knows that there is always more to it, knows that they suffer the mental and emotional trauma of having to watch their loved one sacrificing her life every damn time Yoohyeon wears her mask._

_It’s not fair._

_But Yoohyeon doesn’t linger too long on the thought._

_Not when Bora lightheartedly smiles and cups her cheeks, kisses her own fingers before pressing them against Yoohyeon’s lips over her mask._

-

Yoohyeon likes meeting with her girlfriends for lunch. It’s nice being able to take breaks away from her work to see the people that give her peace and the energy she needs to keep doing her best. 

(And plus, she likes seeing Minji in her studious work attire—she always looks so damn good. And Bora, well, she always looks so cute in her scrubs with her elephant-decorated stethoscope that’s always hanging around her neck). 

Today, luck is on their side since Minji was also able to get away from work. 

Coming so often to have lunch with Bora, the layout of the hospital is familiar, the nurses and doctors recognizing them as well when they see them. It’s not unusual that Yoohyeon and Minji wait for Bora at the corridor of the pediatrics floor so it’s not surprising that one of the patient residents of the hospital recognizes them and bounds towards the two with a toothy smile when she greets them. 

There’s something so heartwarming about seeing Minji with kids. She’s sweet and enthusiastic, her nurturing and caring nature showing in how she regards them. 

And then, there’s Bora.

Bora is good at an infinite number of things: cooking, dancing, singing, drawing, calligraphy. But, most admirably to Yoohyeon, she is a good and compassionate doctor. She keeps each and every patient in her heart, carries them with her, always thinking of what is best for them. She always does her best for them, would bend over backwards for them. She is earnest and passionate about being their advocate and fighting for them even when her colleagues don’t believe in her, even when her patients’ own bodies fail them.

But she’s not just good at healing them and making their bodies better. She’s also good at being there for them emotionally and mentally and it shows in how she interacts with them. 

Because watching Bora take care of her patients is one of the most beautiful things Yoohyeon has ever seen. She gracefully balances a line of professionalism and friendship with them, gives them hope when they are hopeless, is the doctor that they can depend on when the time comes. 

She’s well-respected, knowledgeable, and good with the kids she works with—they love her, just as she loves them.

And like always, getting lunch with her girlfriends is a wonderful affair—filled with laughter and joy, an incomparable happiness. But really, anything with Minji and Bora is incomparable happiness. They make the mundane thrilling, or even the most unbearable, bearable. 

It’s like any other good day—Yoohyeon feeling just as loved as she is happy, content with her life as it is. As her pleasant day heads towards its end, a tab of paper on Minji’s bedside table catches her attention. 

Curiously reaching for it, absolutely nothing in the world could have prepared her for what comes next. 

Reading it, Yoohyeon’s stomach drops, her heart comes to a halt in her chest, her air stuck in her lungs.

“What is this? Adoption pamphlets?”

Minji freezes, panic in her eyes when she looks at Bora before she looks back to Yoohyeon with trepidation.

“We- we were going to tell you about this. You’re always busy fighting and saving New York and that’s- we could never stop you from doing that. But I- we...want to start a family at some point.”

A knot twists painfully in Yoohyeon’s gut, her throat closing in fear, her eyes prickling with wet tears, “You two talked about this without me?”

Minji tangles her fingers together, her nerves manifesting in how she fidgets.

(Yoohyeon knows what this means.

A family means stability and reliability—being there at the beginning of the day and being there at the end to tuck their kids into bed, kiss them good night. And when she is constantly risking her life to be New York’s hero, she cannot be the constant that Minji and Bora—Minji, Bora, and their future child—need). 

Even if Yoohyeon knows she doesn’t have a right to feel betrayed, she does.

(Some part of her knows she doesn’t have the right when she’s the inconsistent variable that Minji and Bora can’t depend on when it comes to keeping herself alive, knows that she is the reason for the pause that Minji and Bora have put on their lives, feels the sharp teeth of guilt eat her alive—its gnawing mercilessly plowing through her stomach and heart).

And Yoohyeon knows this, knew this for years.

Minji and Bora want to settle down—have the whole shebang. Kids, pets, motherhood, seeing versions of themselves in littler bodies, growing old together. 

Yoohyeon thinks that maybe she was greedily ignoring this reality to save herself from the truth of her life. Maybe she tried to selfishly preserve her happiness, selfishly enjoy how good it feels to love and be loved, selfishly delay the inevitable thought.

The thought that she can never be what Minji and Bora need, the thought that her family doesn’t deserve to worry about seeing her mangled and dead body broadcasted on the news like she’s some kind of display—the thought that she is simply and inherently unreliable despite how hard she tries to be dependable.

(No matter how far she buried this thought in her closet of skeletons, that does not mean it does not exist—does not mean that Yoohyeon doesn’t think that she is just meant to be alone because her presence is so much more than what people deserve to deal with).

And looking at Minji and Bora, at the nervous hesitance in their eyes, a crushing guilt shatters her, wakes her up from her fucking dream.

She can’t be what they need. 

Minji cautiously and slowly continues, as if delaying the truth for as long as she can too, “We were scared to ask you...we couldn’t corner you…”

Minji and Bora’s question is silent in the air but Yoohyeon knows it. 

(Yet, when Bora finds the strength within her to ask it, hearing her words feels like thousands of knives digging into her heart).

“You have to choose, Yoohyeon. Can you choose between saving this city and letting everything go or choosing and living a life with us? You- you almost died last week trying to save someone, Yooh. And we can’t- we need you to stay alive.”

(Their sharp points dig deeper and deeper. Because Yoohyeon can’t truthfully answer it. Not when she carries the weight of her powers).

(Because for someone to have her abilities, to have her responsibilities, she can’t not do nothing, can’t not do her best to be what the people need.

But all her heart wants, all she wants to see in her future, is Minji and Bora and however many kids they want—being by their sides and growing with them.

Yet, she can’t choose).

“Bora, you know I can’t answer that. I can’t choose.”

And like a taut rubber band snapping, Bora’s calm composure vanishes—her hot-tempered nature getting the best of her.

“No, you can! You know the answer, Yoohyeon. Look us in the eyes and tell us, try to lie to us, that you can’t choose.” Even if Bora’s voice raises and her body tenses up defensively, tears fall from her eyes, a terrified desperation in them. “It’s simple, Yoohyeon. Yes, you will be there for us the way we need you to be or no, you won’t. So, will you?”

Yoohyeon’s knees falter, the fear in her chest spilling like lava down her ribs, when she kneels helplessly in despair, “I...I can’t…”

Bora, always so keen on pushing to her limit, kneels and clutches onto Yoohyeon like a lifesaver, “You can, Yooh. You can be there for us. You’re everything we need.”

Like an unrelenting storm, Yoohyeon’s sobs rip through her throat, shaking her body.

“I can’t! I can’t!”

When she looks up with her watery eyes, Bora’s are anguished and despaired, Minji’s heart breaking right in front of her. “I can’t be what you need! You deserve- both of you deserve better than me!” And as she cries, her hands pulling her hair in distress, Yoohyeon’s vulnerable and fragile heart breaks and splinters into jagged pieces on their bedroom floor—pieces that she’ll never be able to recollect. 

(Like everything she has tried to forget, tried to ignore, viciously comes back to leave bloody lashes on her heart, Yoohyeon suffocates under the wretched, broken parts of her that make her who she is. Because no matter how hard she tries to believe that she’s better than what breaks her, tries to believe that she is everything that Minji and Bora think of her, she can only see all the things that make her unworthy, anything but capable—can only see everything about her that she hates.

Because the only thing that makes her feel like she is _enough_ is how saves, how this ridiculous spider bite made her someone deserving of a role, of worth). 

Spitting out her next words like she is a poison, like she lets the guilt and hatred she has for herself consume her, she cries out, her breath shaking with the sobs that leave her, “You deserve better...so much _fucking_ better...than this...this _mess_ that I am!”

All Yoohyeon tries to do is be good enough for them, to fit right into the spaces that Minji and Bora made for her in their hearts, but her fucked up, selfishly selfless heroic heart is too big, too sacrificial, to choose a home.

Because home is safety, home is love, home is stability.

And Yoohyeon can only think that she isn’t deserving of something so beautiful.

Struggling to breathe, Yoohyeon’s hand subconsciously comes to her chest, softly rubs small circles— can only imagine Minji and Bora telling her to think of them when she does this, to think of the people who love her the most, until she can find the love in herself on her own. And when it doesn’t work, Yoohyeon backs away from Minji and Bora, her breathing haggard. 

Feeling like she needs to leave to breathe, Yoohyeon harshly wipes her tears from her cheeks and pulls away, barely catches Bora crying into Minji’s arms, Minji’s own distraught tears streaking down her cheeks when she refuses to look her way.

Yoohyeon only feels like she failed the people she loves the most, thinks to herself, solidifies, that Minji and Bora do not deserve this—to be hurt and disappointed by someone who won’t put them first.

When Yoohyeon leaves, she wanders the streets of New York, lost and empty. As the night falls away, feeling like her home should not be hers, Yoohyeon doesn’t return, doesn’t come in through its door again, doesn’t slip in through the windowsill again.

But, whether it’s her weakness or selfishness, Yoohyeon makes a bed out of her webbing just outside of their window, away from their visibility, just to spend one more night to be as close to her heart’s homes as she can get—as much as she can bear.

Because Yoohyeon knows that if she walks through those doors again, sees them again, all she’ll do is break them even more.

As Yoohyeon lays awake, unable to sleep without being held by them, she tries to imagine a life without Minji and Bora.

It doesn’t feel like a life worth nurturing. 

(What Yoohyeon doesn’t know, what she can’t see, is Minji and Bora lying wide awake in their bed, feeling just as empty and incomplete—missing their drooling, snoring mess of a woman that would be holding them close, staying beside them no matter what).

A feeling festers within her the more Yoohyeon thinks. All the hurt and despair, all the ravaging insecurity and anger, lets herself think—fools herself into believing—that if Minji and Bora won’t look at her for who she is in all her inability, she wonders who the hell else would. Because if two of the most selflessly loving, infinitely forgiving and amendable people couldn’t, there couldn’t possibly be anyone else who could.

Yoohyeon wonders what the point of all of this “goodness” inside of her is for if she can’t even make the people she loves happy—if she cannot be good to them.

When the next day comes, Yoohyeon makes sure that Minji and Bora leave for work when she comes back. Making quick work of packing up her clothes and her belongings, it only takes her a few hours to clean up most of her possessions, the polaroids she took in the past left behind. 

(It hurts too much to even look at them, feels like being burned when she picks them up, feels like she has no place to see them so happy when happiness has left).

With a note left on the dinner table, Yoohyeon leaves—chooses to leave before Minji and Bora have to make the choice to leave her. Yoohyeon knows that they’d never like to do such a thing, so she’ll make it easier for them and run the opposite way and never look back. 

_Minji and Bora,_

_I’m sorry I can’t be what both of you need._

_I wanted to. I thought if I tried hard enough, I could mold myself into someone who could fit into your empty spaces._

_And I promise that I tried._

_Some things, some people, just don’t fit._

_I’ll always hope for the best for your future and I’ll always wish you all the love and happiness in the universe because there are no other two people who deserve it more._

_And to your future child...children(??), I know they’ll be so well-loved :)_

_\- Yoohyeon_

_PS: I left my keys on the coffee table._

_~~PPS: Always, I’ll love you two.~~ _

-

Lounging on the floor of her small apartment, Yoohyeon’s living space is too bare to really be called a “living space.” The only furniture she has is a small twin bed, a couple of hangers and drawers for her clothes, and a small table—just the necessities. It’s not that she can’t afford more, it’s just that she’s never home anymore, her time spent working, making food for herself (and trying _not_ to think about Minji and Bora), parading around as a happy Spiderwoman, then, returning home to sleep.

(It has been like this for the last month or so. 

Sleep—or try to fruitlessly sleep—and repeat. Over and over).

That’s one thing about being single now.

There’s no one counting on her to come home, to be safe. 

There is no Minji or Bora to fall into—no Minji to kiss her injuries, no Bora to patch her up. But there is what Bora taught her. Every time Yoohyeon has to stitch herself up, all she sees is Bora, thinks that if she closes her eyes, she might be able to imagine Minji’s soft and full lips on her skin.

With no one waiting on her and depending on her, Yoohyeon doesn’t realize it, she reverts back to her reckless days of crime-fighting—putting herself in dangerous situations without reevaluating all her choices and strategies, sacrificing her body like she is a lowly lamb to be feasted on. 

It’s not freeing.

Not at all.

Not when Yoohyeon just feels restless and sick with hopelessness.

Walking around, Yoohyeon exists with two thirds of herself missing. Because the day she left Minji and Bora, she left parts of herself with them, and all she’s left with is feeling lost and alone.

It’s not easy.

  
Being alone with all her thoughts.

They’re incessant and badgering—always telling her that something is wrong within her, telling her that there is nothing worth fighting for anymore.

When the sadness is so big, when the grief is so crushing, it’s like it blinds her from the responsibilities of her life.

It’s as if her nights as Spiderwoman are dull and automated, ingenuine—like her heart is no longer there. (Of course, it’s no longer there. It’s left behind in pieces on Minji and Bora’s bedroom floor). And if Yoohyeon hears cries for help, some part of her wishes to turn a blind eye, blaming this putrid city for ruining her greatest happiness, her greatest loves. 

(It’s the same part of her that refuses to see that only she is to blame).

But Yoohyeon is Yoohyeon, and she could never ignore someone else’s pain.

So, even when she carries a hole in her chest where her heart should be, her ribs dripping with nothing but depression, she saves and saves. Because that is her worth. Because her abilities are the only reason why she should continue to choose to breathe.

And when Yoohyeon digs _deep_ into herself, she knows that all she wants is to be good enough—right enough for someone.

Yoohyeon wonders what it would take for her to be _right_ for Minji and Bora. Because she knows that she loves them, knows that she’d do anything for them.

But why couldn’t she choose them?

And like a knock to her head, Yoohyeon remembers.

Her ravaging need to fight for the underdog, to save, to give all of herself to this city is why she could never choose to put them first.

Minji and Bora don’t deserve parts of her. They deserve all of her.

And Yoohyeon could never ignore her responsibilities as a hero to allow herself a life of happiness and calm. Still, Yoohyeon walks around with parts of herself missing, trying to find wholeness in herself when she was never really whole to begin with. She tries to fill up her empty gaps with heroism, tries to fill up her desolate emptiness with the assurance of knowing that she is giving everything to the tragic cause of keeping New York safe. 

She’s giving her body, giving up her happiness, giving up the privilege of feeling loved.

Possibly, that could be enough.

Possibly, seeking out misery because she thinks she’s deserving of it will be enough.

(Who the hell is she kidding? It’ll never be enough—she could never be enough).

-

Yoohyeon is no philanthropist but she knows a charity scam when she sees it.

“Pie, isn’t this guy sketchy?”

Sitting on the floor and relaxing in her sweats, Yoohyeon wears her mask as she looks through some records. 

(Yoohyeon recently bought some blinds so that she can walk around her apartment with her mask on without raising any concerns).

“According to city records, he was criminalized for money laundering in 2002.”

Humming, Yoohyeon digs deeper in her research, “That’s concerning. What does a guy like that have anything to do with cancer research?”

“Maybe he turned a new leaf?”

Feeling off-put, Yoohyeon feels even more concerned when she recognizes a familiar name, “He’s going to one of those galas Minji’s company has. We’ll find out if that’s true then.”

It’s silent for a moment until Pie speaks.

“Yoohyeon, do you miss Minji and Bora?”

When Yoohyeon freezes and silence precedes her, Pie continues, “It’s okay to miss them. I don’t understand what it is like to miss someone, but I notice that you’re not as happy as before.”

Closing her laptop, Yoohyeon’s voice, while terse, is polite, “You’re not my therapist, Pie. Thanks for the concern but I don’t want to think about them.”

(More than she already does).

And plus, Yoohyeon knows that if she ever starts to allow herself to think about Minji and Bora, she’d just spiral into a mess of loneliness and deprecation. (More than she already is). It’s hard enough as it is falling asleep without them holding her, being close to them. Coming home to no one—having a home that doesn’t feel like a home after having such a loving and affectionate one for years—is a gruesome reality. 

The first night Yoohyeon cooked, she made enough for three. When she comes home, she misses seeing a mess of shoes by her doorway. She misses all the extra sweaters and shirts, misses all the date nights and cuddling, misses waking up to Minji and Bora’s kisses. She hates living alone, hates her empty, pictureless fridge, hates the frigid air that holds her, hates having all the space in the world on her bed.

It’s empty. Everything is empty.

And it all feels abysmally meaningless.

Flopping on her bed and looking at her ceiling, forlorn dejection stirs within her chest, “Pie, isn’t it sad that you’re my only companion?”

Yoohyeon wonders if Pie is capable of tiring of her, thinks that if she were capable of it, it would have happened by now.

“You’re my only friend too, Yoohyeon. Does that make me sad too?”

Yoohyeon knows that Pie is merely AI, but it’d be a horrid lie if she said that Pie didn’t come to mean something special to her.

“No, it doesn’t.”

Yoohyeon doesn’t know if she’s this fucking sad or if Pie comforts her this much (maybe it’s both), but her voice feels like a warm hand on her shoulder—a friend. 

“Then, I don’t think that makes you sad either.”

-

It’s weird getting ready alone.

There’s no Bora to flatten out her collar or button up her shirt, no Minji to “help” with her lipstick.

(Minji just likes putting her lipstick on for her because she can prolong the time to get all her kisses from Yoohyeon).

It’s especially hard because no one is there to zip up the back of her dress.

But it’s a good thing Yoohyeon is especially bendy, her arms able to work her zipper up.

The night feels less grand.

Yoohyeon just hopes that Minji is okay, hopes that she will be able to finish this night without feeling completely lost or in despair.

When Yoohyeon arrives, her eyes naturally scan the place. This time, not out of her usual Spidey protocols, but to sadistically see if Minji and Bora have arrived yet. 

(They have. And they look so gorgeous, simply and wonderfully celestial in their dresses.

Yoohyeon’s breath catches the way it always does, feels so awestruck. And she’d normally tell them, praise them to high heaven because that’s what angels deserve.

It just sucks this time around because it feels like Yoohyeon shouldn’t even show her face around them, shouldn’t even allow herself to look).

Yoohyeon hopes that no one has pried into their privacy, hopes that they don’t have to hear her name. 

It’s not like she can completely leave their lives and erase her existence like she did not love them for so many years—it’s not that easy. But Yoohyeon hopes that they’d have it as easy as possible. 

It’s hard, trying to avoid Minji and Bora. And it’s not like she really can. Not when she’s her company’s spokesperson for the Fighter Arm and Bora is the advocate for it. So, it’s unbearably awkward standing next to Bora while an investor talks to them. It’s as if a massive invisible divide is between them, an ocean of space between them, even if they can’t be more than three inches apart. 

Yoohyeon can’t bear to look at Bora even when she feels her gaze dialed in on her, can’t seem to turn her face towards her even when she can feel the sheer painful longing radiating from Bora’s eyes.

Yoohyeon doesn’t need to look to know that Bora wants to touch her, wants to talk to her privately with Minji.

She can feel it.

Can hear Bora’s phantom heartbeat pounding in her own chest.

It breaks her heart again, tears through its clumsy stitching and reparation—as if her heart could ever truly repair itself after leaving Minji and Bora.

(Yoohyeon hates treating Bora worse than a stranger, hates that she can’t acknowledge her. Because Yoohyeon knows that if she even took a second to look, she’d beg to be back in her arms because she has missed being held and being cherished).

As soon as the conversation ends, Yoohyeon is gone before Bora can even get a chance to reach for her—feels like if Yoohyeon couldn’t even look at her, she couldn’t possibly get herself to reach out and hold her, even if for a second.

Yoohyeon nearly accepts the champagne that is being offered to her. And if it weren’t for any emergency Spidey cases, she would have taken it without hesitance.

Finally spotting the man that has been on her agenda, he stands across from Minji, a confident smirk on his lips.

(Yoohyeon already hates him.

It’s not that he’s a man that Yoohyeon hates him.

It’s that her senses are telling her that he’s a lying, manipulative weasel and people like that do not deserve to share a room with the likes of someone as lovely as Minji, nonetheless, her time and exuberance).

Yoohyeon isn’t blind. She knows Minji too well and she notices something is off with her right when she looks at her.

She looks downtrodden. And not just in the exhausted way.

Her light is dim, her aura dismal.

And Yoohyeon isn’t clueless. She can positively bet that she isn’t the only one suffering through this break up. Because Minji and Bora loved—loves—her too. That Yoohyeon will always know and be confident in. 

Yoohyeon left them. Of course, they’re mourning some kind of normalcy, some kind of love, and a comforting way of life the way Yoohyeon is too. 

And when Minji looks her way, Yoohyeon is reassured of exactly why she can’t be caught looking, why she shouldn’t look, because she freezes in her spot, her gaze locked with Minji’s. Her heart feels like it’s about to climb out of her throat, burst out of her chest just so that it can run to Minji because its home is _right there_ in front of her. It pounds and roars in her ears and it’s more than just simple nervousness. Not like how she was nervous for her first date with Minji and Bora.

This nervousness is tense and heavy, years of love clashing with moments of devastating hurt. It’s riddled with too much history, too much of their hearts, for her nervousness to be jittery.

No, her nervousness is anxiety sinking deep into her belly and bones—her brain and her heart warring with each other. One fighting to keep her promise of keeping Minji and Bora safe, even from her. The other fights, strengthened by greed and selfishness, to crawl back into their lives, to further destroy what she left behind with her unreliable liabilities. 

When Minji walks towards her with the man behind her, Yoohyeon straightens her back and tries to pretend that her heart is not panicking behind her chest, is not frantically trying to look its best for someone who is far beyond its league.

“Miss. Kim, Mr. Lee was just talking to me about the Fighter Arm.”

It feels like being pierced in her lung with a stake when Minji looks at her, when she says her name with so much formality.

He reaches out his hand for a greeting, Yoohyeon politely takes it.

His smile is big and friendly as he talks, “A bionic arm that’s capable of carrying twenty-five pounds! That’s impressive, Miss Kim!”

It’s difficult putting aside her foolish heart and focusing on her task on hand. Mr. Lee radiates with kindness, an amicable energy, that makes him welcoming and warm.

Her gut is telling her something different.

Being reserved with her reply, Yoohyeon smiles respectfully and slightly bows her head subconsciously, “Thank you.”

But, even more arduous, is pretending Minji is nothing but a distanced colleague, an acquaintance. It’s nearly impossible trying to hide that her body thrums with despaired shouts of Minji’s name—trying to hide that she craves to be beside her with Minji’s arms on the small of her back again.

“I’ve been hearing that you’re quite the advocate for Doctor Kim.”

Yoohyeon’s breath stalls as she inhales, her body and mind slow to react, “Um- yes! She’s- Doctor Kim...I believe in her. I think she can do anything she sets her mind to. She’s passionate and hardworking and relentless. She has made amazing progress in the last few months. Each discovery is one step closer, and I know she’s going to change the world!”

Habits are hard to break.

And boasting about Minji is one that Yoohyeon knows she’ll never quite quit.

Not when Minji is everything the universe does not deserve.

The weight of Minji’s gaze is just as light as it is heavy.

As Yoohyeon feels its laden focus on her, she feels the love, feels her appreciation, feels just like she hung the stars to write out Minji’s name.

It’s an addicting feeling.

Mr. Lee grins, “I could listen to Doctor Kim about her endeavors but it’s nice to hear it from other people. It’s very persuasive.”

Nervously returning the grin, feeling flustered with how Minji is looking at her, Yoohyeon awkwardly laughs, “I, uh, I may be biased, but I can guarantee you can talk to all of her investors and sponsors, colleagues, and friends in this room and you’ll only hear good things about Doctor Kim.”

The investor quirks an eyebrow with a teasing look in his eyes, “Is it fair if everyone is biased?”

Yoohyeon shakes her head in disapproval of his assessment, “It’s well-earned. We believe in Doctor Kim because she is reliable.”

Yoohyeon knows this better than anyone else in this room, excluding Bora.

Minji is steady and strong, her stability like that of a tree whose roots reach to the deepest parts of the ground.

It’s easy to believe in her, to put trust in her. Because Minji always proves true, always proves that she stays honest to her word and intentions.

Feeling like she has run her mouth for far too long, Yoohyeon quickly excuses herself from the conversation, feels Orpheus’ struggle to not look back.

Except, Yoohyeon succeeds—she does not look back, does not allow her heart the chance to yearn more than it already is.

When the gala ends and Yoohyeon returns to her home, it feels depressingly empty to leave without Bora and Minji by her side.

It’s lonely.

Yoohyeon thinks that besides Pie, loneliness might just be her best friend.

Resting at home after washing up, Yoohyeon relaxes in her pajamas. As she talks to Pie before attempting to sleep, she looks through her laptop again.

“On the surface, he seemed fine. But I don’t know, Pie. Something doesn’t feel right about him. And I don’t know if it’s because he’s looking into Minji’s company that I’m feeling paranoid or I’m right.”

When Pie pulls up logs in her vision, Yoohyeon doesn’t know if she likes what she sees.

“I was able to access these files. Every company Mr. Lee invests in falls bankrupt not too long after. I was able to trace large sums of money being transferred to a burner bank account.”

Sitting up in her bed, Yoohyeon gasps, “Now, why would a supposed philanthropist be transferring a quarter of a million dollars to a burner account weekly? That’s suspicious. We gotta track this down!” 

After more digging, Yoohyeon finds what she needs, the burner account leading to another that is mysteriously purchasing crazy amounts of cocaine.

“Bingo! Send this anonymously to the NYPD, Pie!”

It was supposed to be relatively easy. Sit on a ledge, wait for Mr. Lee to get out of work, make it easy for the police to arrest him by webbing him up, and Minji's company gets saved from financial desolation. 

Except, Mr. Lee is a slick guy wary of people prying into his business and Yoohyeon is left to chase after someone whose reputation is that of a golden, giving, compassionate, and loving man. And when she packs a punch on him and maybe another ruthless one for trying to take advantage of Minji, phones are pointed at her, appalled eyes judging her. Ignoring them and webbing him up and leaving him to press against the wall, Yoohyeon already knows that J.J. Jameson is going to have a feast with this one.

Sitting on top of the Empire State Building, it strikes Yoohyeon sour when she scrolls through Twitter.

A lot of the discourse supports Mr. Lee, people all around the world, and especially in New York, denouncing her and demanding for her apology and disappearance.

Yoohyeon just hopes that Minji isn’t mad at her for blowing a “sponsor.”

Feeling curiosity taking over, Yoohyeon is already swinging over to Minji and Bora’s place before she realizes. Already there, the greed to know, to be close, overtakes her. Crawling along the wall and hiding under the window by the kitchen table, Yoohyeon hears the news playing in the background, Minji’s voice over it.

“Why...why would Yooh do that?”

Minji doesn’t seem mad. She doesn't even seem disappointed.

She sounds terribly concerned.

Bora’s voice comes next, sounding just as worried, “Something has to be off with him, Ji.”

Yoohyeon hears Minji’s heavy sigh, the familiar sound of her body tiredly falling onto the couch as she continues, “She wouldn’t…she doesn’t go after people who haven’t done anything wrong. She isn’t like that.”

Resting her head against the brick wall, Yoohyeon sighs with relief.

She doesn’t know if she deserves Minji’s trust in her despite how much she has hurt her and Bora.

But at least Minji and Bora still believe in her even when she laid waste to what they built up over the years. 

Yoohyeon is starting to accept that she chose the wrong people, starting to blame and berate herself for hurting people who would never hurt her, for choosing a city that would rather drag her through the dirt before believing in her.

It nurtures this ugly feeling in her, this seed of anger that grows and digs its roots in her heart.

It fills her with a certain irrational frustration—a quiet fury.

Because she’ll continue to choose people who couldn’t give a shit about her when there are two that would give up the world for her.

Simply because she can’t give up her fucked-up heroism, her worth tied to with people who don’t even know who she is behind her mask. 

This feeling festers and festers.

(Yoohyeon nearly cries before leaving. It’s the sadness in Bora’s voice, her tangible despair. 

“I miss her, Minji. I thought- I believed that she would come back and talk it out with us like she always does.”

And it’s Minji’s too. Regretful. Forlorn.

“I miss her, too, Bora. I wish…I wish I stopped her from leaving that day. If I knew, I would’ve fought harder.”

Oh, how Yoohyeon wishes, fights the temptation, to tumble through their windowsill to tell them how she has missed them too—how dark and empty living is without their light shining in her life. 

But Yoohyeon knows better. 

There is no space for her in this home, in this relationship. Not when her problems are so big).

-

Yoohyeon is completely aware that what she is doing will only make her reputation worse.

Coming after a well-loved philanthropist who has yet to be proven a scam and now, brawling with the city’s biggest homeless shelter owner.

It’s not a good look, she knows.

But Yoohyeon also knows that Mr. Jung is running an illegal prostitution ring.

It’s evil to her that he’d take advantage of people—people trying to make a living for themselves—by taking away their power in exchange for flimsy security. To play among those who are already disadvantaged is cruel and wicked.

Money and power make the world turn and when one man is in control of so many individuals by stripping them of their power and targeting their financial disparities, it’s more than just prostitution rings being illegal.

It’s an atrocious power play.

(It took some sleuthing but her and Pie were able to find clues that led to this discovery. The detective work involved crawling through dusty vents and squeezing herself into air ducts, hoping to God that they do not collapse under her. But, eventually, Yoohyeon found an underground brothel that would definitely fail to meet health and safety standards, malnourished women, and abusive, power-hungry cowards looking to take advantage of them).

So, sure.

This would put her even higher on New York’s shit list of bastards.

But she can’t let this injustice pass, let this violence continue.

Yoohyeon just hopes that the world will eventually see the kind of man that Mr. Jung is.

It’s not easy knowing that the city she loves doesn’t love her back. It only makes the simmering anger in her build in intensity. 

(Her self-worth may be buried six feet under the earth but Yoohyeon thinks that by now, after so many years of giving herself to this city, the people would believe in her now—believe that she is only doing her best to protect the city).

It’s upsetting and it’s only getting harder and harder to ignore. Even if Yoohyeon knows anger rarely ever leads to anything good, the feeling just continues to grow and grow.

Perhaps, being angry is the only way she can stop feeling so fucking sad. Perhaps, that is why she hasn’t uprooted the sprout of anger in her heart—it gives her a reason to justify the hole in her heart, the goodness in her that ran away from her the moment she left Minji and Bora. 

Trying her best doesn’t feel like it’s enough anymore.

It’s exhausting.

But Yoohyeon will always try.

And that is why she is, once again, fighting Vulture and Electro.

Ironically, not caring about her life makes fighting them significantly easier because she willingly throws herself against them, using them to push through an abandoned warehouse, employing big slabs of concrete to smash into them.

(Minji’s formula stands strong against the concrete. The thought of the scientist passes by as a fleeting, grateful thought).

Webbing up Vulture’s wings and crushing him between a concrete slab and the ground, he is unable to move. Electro is much harder to take down. Trying to find him, the villain is nowhere to be seen.

Zipping to a light post to launch off of it, Yoohyeon starts swinging, “Something tells me he’s at the power plant.” 

Pie comes in as the trusty sidekick she is.

“There is a power plant just two miles ahead.”

Grunting as Yoohyeon fits through a small alley, she somersaults in the air, “We can use his own power against him! When we get there, let’s get Spider Bro to the control tower.”

From behind the skyscraper Yoohyeon does reconnaissance behind, she stays hidden from Electro’s vision. Like the brightest Christmas tree in the world, the villain stands at the center of the power plant.

“He’s looking extra sparkly, don’t you think, Pie?”

Dispatching Spider Bro, Pie responds, “He has absorbed a significant amount of energy.”

Swinging towards him, Yoohyeon takes advantage of her illusive position by launching a series of web attacks at him.

“Cool cool cool! Half the work. On my go, overload him!”

Dodging his lightning strikes, Yoohyeon purposely irritates him with smart quips.

“C’mon, Max! How many times do we need to do this?” 

Flipping through the air and avoiding the lightning that comes her way, Yoohyeon finds the perfect spot to carry out her plan. “You’re so sparkly! Have you ever considered blue? I don’t think green looks good on you!”

Perching herself between four power structures, Yoohyeon prepares herself.

Allowing herself to get struck after attaching four of her webs to the structures, it’s nearly excruciating dealing with the searing pain. Still having it in herself to pull her webs together, Yoohyeon shouts with exertion, “Now, Pie, now!”

As soon as Spider Bro pushes up at the lever, a current of energy charges her webs, the overload of power overwhelming Electro’s systems as he explodes.

As the city lights flicker back on, power is restored in all the buildings, the chaos reaching its end.

Even if her body is struggling to rebound after dealing with so much exhaustion, Yoohyeon swings back to Vulture, follows the authorities that come to detain him at the Ravencroft Institute.

Debriefing with the head officer at Ravencroft Institute, it should’ve been quick and easy.

Debrief and go home, wallow about her broken heart, toss and turn in her sleep, wake up, and repeat.

Except, it’s not.

In fact, the situation turns in a way that makes the dread in her stomach twist and knot and tangle together. 

Yoohyeon’s Spidey sense is going off like crazy, buzzing at the back of her head. And she only realizes why when it’s too late.

Like a monster, the head officer manifests the evil Yoohyeon would never like to see again.

Red and furious with sharp, pointy teeth, Carnage is a horrific sight.

As the symbiote advances and attacks Yoohyeon, all she can do is defend herself, swinging around and web attacking the officer.

Shouting as she dodges the symbiote’s blood webs, Yoohyeon feels panic bubbling in her throat, “What happened? Why did Carnage leave Kasady?”

As the symbiotic suit bonds away from the officer, he grunts with pain after Yoohyeon launches a punch at him.

“I’m only a temporary host-”

Keeling over when Yoohyeon kicks him in the gut, he clutches his stomach in pain. “It’s looking for someone stronger!”

And right at that, when Yoohyeon attempts to reach out for him, the red symbiotic alien latches onto her, feeding on the anger and rage growing in her heart.

No matter how hard she tries to resist it, the psychotic anger the symbiote feeds her is addicting, her own indignation making her weak to succumbing. Like another brain is mushed in with hers, Yoohyeon feels a burning fury rush through her and the temptation to chase after revenge, to wreck chaos and violence wherever she goes.

But the tragically good part of her—the part of her that has led her to this reality of pain and resentment away from her greatest loves—wars with the symbiote, trying to fight for control and stopping the urge to murder and maim anyone Carnage sees.

As Carnage swings through the night, tormenting the citizens of New York as much as it can under Yoohyeon’s restraint, a disturbing feeling settles deep within her.

A feeling that revels in the dependency that Carnage has for her.

Because without a host, the symbiote is nothing.

But, with Yoohyeon, the symbiote can be everything.

So, as Carnage destroys and devastates the streets of New York, Yoohyeon doesn’t have it in her to stop it, to completely rid of the symbiote in her. Like Carnage chooses to exploit the worst of her, her anger and fury is retaliated on the people of New York, people who betrayed her.

But, when Yoohyeon lingers by Minji and Bora’s apartment one night, fueled by Carnage’s persuasion, she overhears their conversation as the couple watch the news.

“That can’t be Yoohyeon. She’d never be this cruel. She’s too good for this to be her.”

The symbiotic voice within her frills at the disapproval in Bora’s voice, feels miffed to be talked about badly.

(But this is where Bora is wrong.

Yoohyeon, as good as she is, isn’t strong enough to get rid of the anger pulsing through her bloodstream—too sad and empty to care).

When Carnage is filled with the desire to leave Minji and Bora mangled on the floor of their bedroom, the will within Yoohyeon flares up like a bright light—painfully stubborn about keeping true to her promise.

Yoohyeon or not, Carnage or not, harm will not come Minji and Bora’s way.

And the smallest part of her, the part that clutches onto her past, clings onto the belief that Minji and Bora have in her—gives her the strength to keep Carnage’s destruction as subdued as possible. 

So, even as years pass, Yoohyeon doesn’t tire from the endless fight with Carnage telling her to let go and ravage—to demolish and devastate everything and everyone.

Even if she can’t completely control the symbiote, Yoohyeon takes her wins wherever she can.

And with Carnage, living a day without killing is a win.

Looking away from crime, obstructing justice, fighting the police, and aiding violence crushes the goodwill within her.

But all she has is her withering goodness and the blind hope that Minji and Bora might still believe in her. 

Still, as four years have passed since their breakup, her sympathy for the world is slowly crumbling to the temptation of falling into despair and letting Carnage control her.

It’s hard, pretending like she has reasons to stay alive, to try, when she can’t see the light of hope.

Especially when she’s so alone.

It has been years since she has heard Pie’s voice, has had a friend that believed in her goodness.

(Yoohyeon doesn’t know if she can consider Minji and Bora friends. She certainly can’t call them strangers, but she’s so estranged from them to call them anything but ghosts of her past).

Being Carnage, it allows for her to wallow in her own pity, to further isolate herself from the world, to roll in all her misery and grief.

Because all Carnage knows is fury, all it has is a fiery and psychotic wrath.

And all Yoohyeon has is this pit of emptiness saturated in wretched sadness.

So, it’s easier to fill the dark abyss with anger than to find reasons within herself to be happy—to be better. Because some ugly part of her thinks there is no reason to be better, to nurture the life she lives when she is barely living—thinks that, maybe, she doesn’t deserve a life that is worth living.

And it only seems to get worse when Yoohyeon sees that Minji and Bora appear to be falling apart, their marriage shaking under the weight of their mistakes, when she overhears a conversation from outside their window.

(Carnage had a rampage the day Minji and Bora married. Yoohyeon always imagined, allowed herself to think, that she could have been a part of that. Thinks that they would have found a way to make life work out for them. It was a cruel reminder when she watched the outdoor ceremony from a distance that she was never meant to end up with them, that she was never meant to find happiness with them.

All the desperation and betrayal and anguish of the day had left Yoohyeon weak to Carnage’s psychotic tendencies, the people of New York suffering horrifically under her terror). 

Minji’s voice is raw, telling that she and Bora have been fighting for a while now.

“If _you_ didn’t push so _damn_ hard about having kids, maybe we wouldn’t be in this fucking situation! You _knew_ Yoohyeon could never put her humanity behind her for us. Why the hell did you push her?!”

Bora scoffs, her hot-temper doing little to de-escalate their fight. “Don’t put the blame all on me, Minji! Yoohyeon was able to fucking look at you the last time we saw her! She couldn’t even...it’s like I didn’t exist to her! You could’ve stopped her! All the chances _you_ had to fight for her, you never did! And now look! We can’t even recognize her!”

Yoohyeon’s gut twists into mangled knots, her heart clenches with a sharp pain that knocks her breath out of her lungs. And it’s like the dullest knife digs and gashes into her chest when Bora cries through her next words, “She’s...hurting people, Minji! _We_ did that to her! We just...watched her fall apart and we _never_ did anything to show her that she still has us. I know it’s not our responsibility to remind her that she’s more than what she thinks she is, but we promised!”

Minji’s voice is sharp and terse, cold, “It wasn’t my right! We lost the right to be beside her the moment we let her go, Bora! Doesn’t she deserve peace too? She left for a reason! She left for us. I couldn’t...I didn’t want to-”

A new voice. Soft and high. A child’s.

“Mommy?”

Feeling the world freeze in its spot the way the blood in her body does, Yoohyeon doesn’t have it in her to stop her curiosity. (It’s like even Carnage can afford to shut up for fucking once in its life). 

Carefully peeking, Yoohyeon finds a little girl standing in their kitchen, wiping her sleepy eyes.

A daughter.

Some part of sighs in relief. Her leaving wasn’t for nothing—all the misery and grief she has been carrying with her through these painful years, justified.

Like Minji and Bora’s infuriated and heated fight melts away into the air, the two turn towards their daughter. When Minji squats, the girl automatically burrows into her embrace to be held. 

“What’s wrong, my love?”

(Yoohyeon lightly gasps at the term of endearment. It has been years since she has heard it coming from the voice she loves).

“Are you and mama fighting?”

Minji looks at Bora, apologies reflecting in each of their eyes.

“We were just...talking, Cheonsa. Did we wake you up?”

Cheonsa nods slowly, her sleepy eyes unable to blink wide open.

Bora softly runs her fingers through her daughter’s hair, tense shoulders softening.

“We’re sorry, baby. We’ll sing you back to sleep.”

Cheonsa just buries her head into the crook of Minji’s neck, her fingers loosely holding onto Bora’s, as the three walk away.

Sticking around, all Yoohyeon can do is process the last twenty minutes. Yoohyeon never doubted that Minji and Bora would be good with kids. She always believed that. But, to see it, to see them with their own, some part of her morose heart heals. 

(And maybe there were moments that Yoohyeon imagined being a part of Minji and Bora’s lives like this, to be mothers with them. Because it’s not like Yoohyeon wouldn’t want to experience life with them. She hadn’t left for that reason. She just...couldn’t).

When Minji and Bora come back after some time, Yoohyeon hears resolute motivation in Bora’s voice.

“We can’t change the past, Ji. And maybe there isn’t anything we can do now about Yoohyeon. But we can’t...we can’t let her sacrifice go to waste.”

Bora sighs, heavily, tiredly.

Yoohyeon can only imagine that this is them making up because Minji sounds loving and reassuring, just as reliable as always, “We have to give our best to Cheonsa. She shouldn’t have to see us fight like that. No matter what, Bboya. We give her the best life she can live.”

And for the first time in years, Yoohyeon feels the necessity to be better—to make the world better.

If not for all the other people of New York, but for Cheonsa.

Anything for Minji and Bora.

And if they want to give the best life their daughter can live, Yoohyeon is going to make damn sure that the world will be a safer place for her to thrive. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhhhh the angst. and to the folks who expected this to be fluff express,,,,,,,i apologize. please do remember this is a separate au :D 
> 
> i haven't really started part 3 yet so wait a bit!!
> 
> please do scream at me if you like ksdjfskdjf


	3. run away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's nothing yoohyeon wouldn't do to keep them safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome to the end!! hope you enjoy!!

“I believe that the correct term is “back of your knee,” Yoohyeon.”

Taking a bite from her sandwich, Yoohyeon hums in disagreement, “I just think “kneepit” sounds much better. I mean why not “kneepit” when armpit?”

Pie responds, “If kneepit then wristpit?”

Yoohyeon smiles, a certain relaxing tug of her lips, “You’re being too nice, Pie. You don’t usually entertain my side like this.”

As Yoohyeon crumples the sandwich paper and swings away to toss it into the trash (because littering is bad), Pie replies and Yoohyeon swears she hears sentimentality in her voice.

“I don’t know what it is to miss someone but I think I missed you, Yoohyeon.”

Somersaulting in the air and then tucking her legs close to her chest before she unwinds to gain momentum in her next swing, Yoohyeon laughs, “I’ve missed you, too, Pie!”

Taking a quick detour to stop a man that stole a woman’s purse, it’s a job that Yoohyeon can do in her sleep. Returning the bag to her, the woman doesn’t flinch in intimidation at her presence, thanks her wholeheartedly for her help.

Before, people used to cower at her very name—Carnage spitting on and ruining the name that she made for herself.

Friendly City Spiderwoman no more. 

But it has been three months since Carnage’s last kill—three months since she eavesdropped on Minji and Bora’s fight and the consequential discovery of their daughter.

It has been so long since Yoohyeon has worn her favorite suit. But, with the fiery motivation to regain her control over Carnage, Yoohyeon is driven towards her search and battle for her goodness—her will to crawl out of this dark abyss and into the light.

And what better way to do that than to wear the suit that was given to her as a result of her humanity. Yoohyeon finally feels worthy of it, feels good enough to entertain Pie’s time with her silly commentary and jokes.

It can be exhausting spending most of her day as Spiderwoman and doing whatever she can to help the people in New York and spending most of her night trying to enforce her control over Carnage and to stop it from killing.

But her job as Spiderwoman has never been easy. 

  
So, while she lives her day helping the police with wherever Pie wires in their dispatch—stopping robberies, gang deals, the casual car chase—it seems like New York is slowly warming up to her again and recognizing her infamous Spider symbol as opposed to Carnage’s darker and more malevolent appearance.

Of course, J.J. Jameson always has a bone to pick with her, but it’s relieving to scroll through her Twitter to see people slowly accepting their wall-crawler again. 

_“Can you believe that Spiderwoman is trying to crawl her way back to our embraces? After all the trouble and destruction she has left all over New York, we’re better off without her!”_

_The caller pauses, “Uh, Spiderwoman rescued my son from a kidnapper. I think something changed. Or something was wrong with her.”_

_“No! New York needs to open their eyes! Vigilantes are nothing but trouble to us!”_

(It’s rare that New Yorkers will thank her but Yoohyeon is remembering why she chose this mask and this responsibility. Not to be appreciated or validated. But to do what is right).

Sitting on the Empire State Building, Yoohyeon playfully swings her legs after balancing along the ledge of the skyscraper.

“Pie, do you know if the farmer’s market on 17th is still going on?”

Swinging away from the building and making her way to 5th Avenue, Yoohyeon revels in the peace of being Spiderwoman—the freedom in zipping through New York with the (slightly aggressive and completely fearless) pigeons of the city hot on her tail. 

Finding her bag that she stashed high up on St. Patrick’s Cathedral, Yoohyeon shoulders it before swinging away to an empty alley.

“According to my research, it ends at 3.”

Already hopping into her jeans and hoodie, her Spidey suit hiding underneath and her mask securely hidden in her hoodie pocket, Yoohyeon leaves her shoes and socks in the alley before crawling up the wall to stash her backpack high along the building. Coming back down and tying her shoelaces, she clips her house keys to her belt loops, a small Rilakkuma plush dangling from her keychain. Taking a moment to gently hold it in her hands and turning it over, the familiar stitching there doesn’t make her heart ache, not the way it used to. 

(On the back, sewn in blue, six small letters remind her of what happiness and love feel like—softly, affectionately.

_KM_ _♡_ _KB_ _♡_ _KY_

She only feels fond, reminiscent of the love she had.

It’s the only tangible thing Yoohyeon has left of Minji and Bora. There were many nights where she thought about getting rid of it—to truly let go of them, the past, her hopes. But no matter how close she’d get to throwing it, she’d always change her mind, clipping it back to her keychain.

Maybe, Yoohyeon thinks, it might be selfish of her to not let this brown bear go. But, lately, it’s the one thing that gives her strength when she needs it, when she feels like giving up).

Walking along the streets of New York with music coming through her Airpods, Yoohyeon looks through the notes app on her phone to check for what she needs at the market.

(It’s mostly veggies and fruit. Bora would be proud of her for trying to eat healthier).

After arriving and getting most of her food, Yoohyeon lingers by a stand. While getting distracted by the vanilla farmer, Yoohyeon feels a small tug at her clothes.

(Ever since meeting Minji, Yoohyeon loves vanilla with a certain affinity, its scent reminding her of the woman. She didn’t mean to dawdle at the stand but, vanilla will always be one of her weaknesses).

Turning her head towards the tug and looking down, her breath hitches in her throat, her heart racing double time behind her chest when she recognizes the girl who tugged for her attention.

Small and cute, Cheonsa stands right next to Yoohyeon, her big, curious eyes looking up at her, “Pretty Lady, I really like your bear!”

Squatting down so that the girl doesn’t have to crane her neck anymore, the words in Yoohyeon’s mind run amuck, her hands fruitlessly trying to grasp them.

“My- my bear?”

Cheonsa points at the Rilakkuma on her keychain, unbridled joy in her eyes.

Following her finger with her gaze and reaching for it, Yoohyeon unclips the bear.

“My mommy loves Rilakkuma! She has _so many_ at home!”

Cheonsa’s enthusiasm is infectious, a bright and fond smile sitting on Yoohyeon’s lips.

Yoohyeon’s heart thrums in her chest, adrenaline coursing through her body.

(There’s something exhilarating about talking to Cheonsa—feels like talking with happiness for the first time in years. It’s not the same blissful feeling as talking to Minji and Bora when they were happy and together, but it is similar, feels like talking to parts of their hearts again after so many years).

“Does she? How many?”

Of course, Yoohyeon knows Minji has more Rilakkuma plushies than should be normal but she entertains Cheonsa’s lively spirit anyway.

The girl extends her arms as wide as they can go, her eyes widening in emphasis, “ _This_ many!”

Yoohyeon doesn’t even need to feign amusement and excitement, the feelings naturally coming to her, “Really? That’s _so_ many!”

Cheonsa nods with enthusiasm, her head moving like that of a bobblehead.

(It is so incredibly endearing).

“But my mommy’s favorite is on her bed and it sleeps with her and mama at night! Just like how I sleep with mine!”

Yoohyeon forgot what it was like to feel this much happiness at once. It overwhelms her, makes her feel breathless.

(Before, Yoohyeon used to see the world in Minji and Bora. Now, she sees the entire universe in Cheonsa.

Yoohyeon knows, already promised three months ago, to protect her with her life).

Cheonsa continues with just as much energy, “I just wanted to tell you that I like your bear!”

(She brims with sparkling zeal and shimmering exuberance. It reminds her of Bora).

Without an ounce of hesitation, Yoohyeon reaches out, the blue stitching waving to her when she offers it.

“Would- would you like it?”

Cheonsa gasps, her face of shock making Yoohyeon giggle. “Really?!”

Placing it in her hands, Yoohyeon doesn’t feel regretful when she lets it go.

“Just promise me you’ll take good care of it, okay? It’s really, _really_ precious to me. It’s special! Just like you, there’s not another one like it out there!”

Raising a pinky out as a promise, Cheonsa beams a smile, “I pinky promise!”

Linking her pinky with hers and pressing her thumb against Cheonsa’s, Yoohyeon has to repress the cooing sounds she wants to make, love bursting in a rainbow of colors behind her chest.

(Cheonsa’s hands are so tiny compared to hers, Yoohyeon’s thumb dwarfing hers, her own pinky longer than the girl’s middle finger).

Seeing Minji and Bora in the distance, Yoohyeon feels reality catch up to her—knows she needs to go before they see her. 

(It’s not that Yoohyeon doesn’t want to see them. She wants to see them every day, every hour of her life. But it’s just that she can’t risk her foolish and reckless heart from bulldozing the life Minji and Bora built up by forcing herself back into their lives). 

Yoohyeon almost calls her by her name, stops when she remembers that she shouldn’t even know it in the first place, “Go back to your moms before they worry!”

Cheonsa nods obediently, waves goodbye with genuine sincerity in her eyes, Rilakkuma held tightly in her hands. 

Quickly hiding away from Minji and Bora’s view, Yoohyeon lingers close enough to hear them when Cheonsa brags about her new plush.

“Mommy, mama! Look! A pretty lady gave me mommy’s favorite plushie! She says it’s special like me!”

Minji and Bora lower down to look at the bear, their eyes widening when they see the familiar stitching on the back. In disbelief, Minji and Bora gape at the bear, memories of the past sinking into them.

_Between Minji and Bora, Yoohyeon doesn’t know why it’s Bora who is covering her eyes.  
  
  
_

_(Minji could easily obscure her vision with her hands but Bora has to get on her tiptoes, Yoohyeon’s stature lowering just to make it easier for her)._

_Still, Yoohyeon smiles, and it illuminates Minji’s place._

_“What is it?”_

_Bora chortles that laugh that Yoohyeon loves, high and mischievous, “Don’t you trust us?”_

_Yoohyeon subconsciously runs her finger along the button of her web shooters._

_(Yoohyeon had swung by after finishing up her Spidey duties and she barely even had the chance to take off her mask before Bora tugged her into embrace, peppering kisses all along her cheeks)._

_“You know that I do!”_

_(It only took ten months for Yoohyeon to tell Minji and Bora about her Spidey identity. It should worry her that the two of them broke through her defenses so easily, but Yoohyeon doesn’t need proof to believe in them._

_She’s safe with Minji and Bora—safe as the woman that she is, safe as the masked hero that she is)._

_“Good! Hold your hands out for us!”_

_Following Bora’s command, something soft is placed in her hands, the feeling of rounded ears pressing against her fingers._

_When Bora uncovers her eyes and sidles over to Minji’s side, she holds Minji’s hands nervously._

_“Happy first anniversary!”_

_In her hands, a Rilakkuma keychain looks up at her._

_Squeezing Bora’s hand, Minji adds, “Turn it over!”_

_Flipping the bear over, Yoohyeon’s heart stumbles in her chest, her breath catching in her lungs._

_Stitched on the back of the plush, the first letters of their names and two red hearts are carefully sewn._

_“It’s not a lot but...we wanted to do something special. There will never be another bear like that in the world, just like how there will never be another you in the universe.”_

_And when Yoohyeon softly cries, Bora kisses the streaks that her tears leave, Minji’s arms securely wrapped around her._

_Yoohyeon believes, knows, this is what love feels like—this is what comfort and safety feel like._

Leaving before Minji and Bora get a chance to look for her, Yoohyeon doesn’t feel desolate and vacant inside without her Rilakkuma bear.

If anything, she feels fulfilled, like the empty, gaping hole in her heart slowly fills with gratitude and contentment.

It fuels her with passionate motivation to be better, to keep fighting for the good within her, no matter how Carnage ravages her humanity.

Late at night when Carnage tries to have its fun with New York smashing through corporate buildings, Yoohyeon only allows it to destroy those with less than moral ethics and practices.

She also does come close to killing a homeless man in an alley but Yoohyeon is able to will the temptation away, able to fight against Carnage’s psychotic tendencies.

Instead, she sticks herself to Minji and Bora’s apartment, allowing herself the selfishness of eavesdropping right outside their window. (She’ll blame it on her relentless yearning for them, just wants to see them for a little longer before letting go). While Minji, Bora, and Cheonsa eat their dinner in the kitchen, Yoohyeon catches her Rilakkuma carefully placed beside the little girl. Behind them, Yoohyeon recognizes one of the pictures on their fridge.

Her heart pangs with realization.

Held up by the same Spiderwoman magnet that used to hold their little notes, the picture of Bora and Minji squishing their cheeks against hers hasn’t moved.

Cheonsa swings her legs at the dinner table, her gaze also looking at the same picture curiously—like she might recognize one of the faces there. 

“Who’s that in the picture with you and mommy, mama?”

Minji and Bora turn towards Cheonsa’s attention.

  
Bora’s voice is loving and fond, soft.

“She is…someone who loves us more than we can ever imagine. She is very good to us, angel.”

Cheonsa nods attentively, “Can I meet her one day?”

Minji’s eyebrows dip into a deep frown but she quickly hides her bittersweet nostalgia, “I don’t think so, baby girl.”

Cheonsa leaves her spot at the table and pulls out a small step stool. Using it to reach for the picture on the fridge, she holds it delicately in her hands—like she can feel how cherished the photo is. 

“She looks like the pretty lady I met at the market today!”

Minji and Bora gaze at each other, a tangible longing in their eyes. Minji just reaches over to hold Bora’s hand in hers, saves the story for another day when she replies.

“If she looked like her, she must’ve been very beautiful.”

Yoohyeon hates that she feels Minji’s words resonating deeply in her heart, as if she is five years younger and flushing pink at her sincere compliment.

  
(Except, five years have passed, and she is still blushing under Carnage’s symbiotic suit.

Carnage might call her pathetic for it but, fuck them. 

Yoohyeon figures they’re just being petty for not being able to tick another line on their massive post of murder victims).

When she swings home that night and opens the door to her apartment, her keychain is significantly lighter, but Yoohyeon walks with lighter steps—feeling heavenly relief in finally having a slowly healing and lighter heart that no longer drags her deep into the earth.

-

Yoohyeon never thought that she’d meet Cheonsa again. 

Yet here she is with Cheonsa tugging her along, her tiny hand wrapped around her two fingers.

Granted, Cheonsa is meeting her as Spiderwoman but it’s not like she would know Pretty Lady at the Farmer Market (who is also her moms’ ex) also doubles as Spiderman.

It’s a mess of events, really.

(It’s not that Yoohyeon follows Cheonsa around to be creepy, it’s just that New York is unreliable, and anything can happen. 

And, maybe, it’s good that Yoohyeon keeps an eye on her because Cheonsa likes to wander around and cause trouble, her curiosity getting the best of her. (All too often, she is the reason for Minji and Bora’s heart attacks). 

In the past few months, Yoohyeon has had to web up creepy men who’d follow Cheonsa, intimidated older kids who’d bully her (to be honest, the kids kind of love Spiderwoman—she has a small cult following at Cheonsa’s school now—so they quickly heeded her demand to leave the girl alone), and stopped reckless cab drivers who didn’t see Cheonsa’s tiny body as she crossed an unregulated pedestrian xing. 

(Yoohyeon almost thinks that Cheonsa might have subconsciously inherited her own ridiculous magnet for danger despite barely being in her life. 

It’s an interesting feeling to be in a version of Minji and Bora’s shoes. Yoohyeon feels even more sorry for all the times that Minji and Bora had to anxiously wait on her to come home and be safe). 

But, this time, as the day unfolds, Yoohyeon is immensely relieved to have Cheonsa on her radar).

It’s a rainy day in New York, and New Yorkers, for the life of them, cannot drive safely in the rain.

Cheonsa’s class is going on a field trip and while crossing the Manhattan Bridge, the bus hydroplanes uncontrollably, its trunk tipping over the side of the bridge.

Watching the bus spin out of control, Yoohyeon’s heart harshly pounds against her rib as she zips towards it. Hastily swinging around and slinging layers of her web all along the bottom of the bridge, Yoohyeon knows that Minji’s formula is strong enough to carry a heavy bus full of kids and teachers.

Just before the bus crashes into the ocean, it falls into the bed of webs Yoohyeon made.

Prying the back of the bus open, the sounds of crying kids fill her ears, teachers trying their best to keep their cool. Quickly surveying the bus, Yoohyeon sighs in relief to see Cheonsa alive and okay.

Shaken up, but okay.

Taking the kids one by one and bringing them to safety, Cheonsa is the last one to come, her shaky arms reaching out for her. As Yoohyeon edges closer, the bus tilts, her added weight moving it.

When Cheonsa screams in fear, Yoohyeon comfortingly holds her arms out while she speaks softly and calmly, “Hey, it’s okay. I can’t move anymore but can you be brave for me? Can you come closer?”

Cheonsa hesitates, terrified. 

“I- I’m scared, Spidey.”

Cheonsa says her name like it’s her safety blanket, like she trusts her. Yoohyeon feels warmth spread in her chest like the soft ripples of waves shoring up.

“I know it’s scary, but I promise you, I’ll keep you safe.”

When the kindergartener takes a small step, the bus creaks lowly. 

Distracting her, Yoohyeon rushes out a question, “What’s your name?”

Cheonsa clutches onto the seats of the bus as she moves cautiously, “My- my name is Cheonsa.”

Preparing herself for the worst-case scenario, Yoohyeon gets light on her feet.

“Cheonsa? Heaven’s messenger? It’s a beautiful name! It fits you very well, angel!”

Cheonsa looks up in shock.

“You...know Korean?”

Cheonsa moves more boldly along the bus as Yoohyeon replies in her native language, “It’s my first language! You’re doing so well; almost there!”

Dashing the last few feet and scrambling into Yoohyeon’s arms, Cheonsa clutches onto her like she is her lifesaver.

(Technically, Yoohyeon thinks, she is).

Quickly zipping outside of the bus and placing Cheonsa with the rest of her friends, Yoohyeon squats down for a moment.

“I have to go back and get your teachers, but you did amazing, Cheonsa! You are _so_ strong!”

Rescuing the teacher and her aid, Yoohyeon is faintly aware of the helicopter circling the bridge, news vans on the perimeter of the closed off highway.

Taking a moment to catch her breath and slow the rapid beating of her heart, a light tugging on her hand gets her attention.

Cheonsa is looking up at her with amazed eyes, looking at her like she is a hero—like she is worthy of something amazing.

Bending down with her open arms to reciprocate Cheonsa’s, the girl falls into her embrace.

As if Cheonsa bravely shines a light on all the darkest parts of her, Yoohyeon melts into her hug, finds a home in her.

Looking up from the embrace when Yoohyeon hears the faintest whisper of Minji and Bora’s voice screaming Cheonsa’s name in the distance, Yoohyeon slightly pulls away and softly cradles Cheonsa’s cheek in her hands.

“Look! Your moms are here!”

Following her gaze, Cheonsa perks up in her arms, Korean rushing out of her mouth.

“I want you to meet them, unnie! Wait, can I call you that?”

Yoohyeon honestly feels like crying from fondness but instead she just nods eagerly.

A tear may or may not drop when Cheonsa calls her “Spidey unnie” exuberantly. The title sweeps her off of her feet, so much that she doesn’t realize Cheonsa is tugging her towards Minji and Bora.

And this is where Yoohyeon finds herself confronting one of her fears: seeing Minji and Bora again. And even worse, pretending like she does not love them with her entire heart, pretending like she is not one breath away from dropping to her knees to flood their feet with countless “I love you’s” tumbling from her heart and out of her mouth.

It’s hard treating the loves of her life like they’re strangers to her when all Yoohyeon knows these days are them—things that remind her of them, the light in her reminding her of them, the goodness in her being proud to have been theirs.

Looking at Minji and Bora the closer she gets, she sees panic in their eyes, thinks it’s perfectly reasonable to feel frantic given the circumstances of their daughter almost plummeting to her death.

“Mama, mommy! Meet Spidey unnie!”

Yoohyeon awkwardly walks, her fingers still held in Cheonsa’s hand, when she shyly waves.

It’s so fucking cringeworthy.

Yoohyeon used to greet them with bright, shining eyes and a glittering grin, a kiss or five for each of them.

But now she stands like a damn bump on a log, waving like an idiot when Cheonsa lets go to throw herself into her moms’ arms.

“She saved me and my friends! You were right! She’s so cool; she’s the bestest hero ever!”

Momentarily looking down at Cheonsa, a small smile tugs at her lips, finds it impossible to fight it. (Especially when she knows that Minji and Bora have praised her, enough that their daughter remembers her for the good she is and not the bad that Carnage made her).

All of New York could thank her for her help in all the past years and it’d still pale in comparison to the feeling of Cheonsa and her mothers boasting about her.

When Bora sets her eyes on her, Yoohyeon’s heart stops in her chest, its attention fully on the women in front of her.

“Of course, we’re right! Spiderwoman is the best!”

Even if Bora sounds enthused, as she normally does, Yoohyeon can feel the weight of Bora’s gaze on her, can feel a certain longing and love.

It only comforts her. 

“Mommy, did you bring your car?”

When Minji shakes her head yes, Cheonsa takes Minji’s hand to tug her away, “I wanna give Spidey unnie something!”

Minji laughs, directs Cheonsa the opposite direction towards her car.

(Minji’s laugh sounds like heaven).

Watching them walk away, Yoohyeon awkwardly shuffles her feet on the floor, struggles to maintain eye contact with Bora.

(It’s, somehow, equally heartbreaking as it is endearing.

But at least it’s better than refusing to acknowledge her. Doing that had shattered her heart, even more so knowing that it had devastated Bora too).

Finding her courage and catching her breath, Yoohyeon takes a moment to look into Bora’s waiting gaze, “Cheonsa has Minji’s nose...she’s beautiful. She smiles like her too.”

Bora exhales shakily, her fingers tangling themselves together.

(Yoohyeon wants to reach out and hold them like she normally would when Bora is feeling nervous).

“Thank you...Minji, uh, gave birth to her.”

It’s rare that Bora is so transparently nervous in front of her.

It only makes Yoohyeon even more timid.

“Yoo- Spiderwoman, thank you. For saving her.”

There’s a depth in Bora’s eyes, like she knows Yoohyeon is protecting her daughter.

(Like she sees Yoohyeon as Cheonsa’s guardian angel—her guardian Spidey angel). 

Yoohyeon’s hand subconsciously reaches out and freezes once she realizes what she is doing. Hastily gluing her hands to her sides, Yoohyeon lets her gaze carry a heavier promise, “Always, Bora.”

Yoohyeon thinks she hears Bora gasp, thinks her own heart stutters and trips in her chest.

Before they can say anything, Cheonsa is back with Minji in tow, a small puppy plush in her arms, her little umbrella shielding it from the rain.

Squatting down to Cheonsa’s level and trying her best to hide it from the rain when the girl hands it to her, Yoohyeon looks at her with curiosity, “What’s this?”

“I used to sleep with this! Mama said it’d keep me safe when I get scared!”

Feeling like the world is being held in her arms in the form of a plush, Yoohyeon holds it securely, “If you’re giving this to me, what about you?”

Cheonsa just shines a carefree grin, “A pretty lady gave me her special plushie to keep safe and it’s keeping me safe too! I think you deserve a plushie to keep you safe too! I want you to feel safe when you’re scared!”

Overwhelmed with the love that blossoms and blooms in her chest, like a garden full of carnations, Yoohyeon dares to open her arms for a hug, hot tears sitting on the lids of her eyes.

Cheonsa eagerly runs into it, her short arms wrapping around her neck.

Speaking softly and lightly leaning her head on hers when she serenely closes her eyes, Yoohyeon feels the deep gashes in her heart slowly scarring into beautiful white lines, the salt that once harshly rubbed into her wounds getting washed away with the rain and the selfless compassion that Cheonsa gives her. 

“I promise I will keep it safe, Cheonsa.”

When Minji, Bora, and Cheonsa turn away and leave to return home, a quiet “I love you” slips past her lips when Yoohyeon can no longer keep it locked up inside her heart.

Yoohyeon swears Bora looks back at her before they disappear into the crowd.

-

Yoohyeon has been having a _week_.

It’s already hard maintaining her Spiderwoman/Carnage duties on top of developing biomaterial that will be suitable enough to aid the healing process in the event of devastating brain injuries.

Now, it’s even harder as she spends more time trying to get rid of Carnage. She has been going to churches with the biggest fucking bells on the hour, every hour, with the hope that its loud ringing will repel Carnage.

All Yoohyeon gets is near-deafness and Carnage getting pissed off at her.

She got as close as seeing the red symbiote rising from her skin but not enough that it repelled away from her. If anything, it bonded back to her more viciously, adamant about not giving her up when it slammed her against the wall of the cathedral. That night, Yoohyeon had an arduous time stopping Carnage from wreaking havoc—she even debated putting herself in a straitjacket just to stop the symbiote’s psychotic tendencies.

_After coming home from a rough night with Carnage, Yoohyeon is positive she might just fall asleep on the floor. Wearing her mask, hearing Pie’s voice is like a breath of fresh air._

_“Hi Yoohyeon. How was your night?”_

_“Pie! I cannot hear for the life of me! Can you tell me if someone is calling me?”_

_“Yes, I can, Yoohyeon.”_

_“What?! What did you say?”_

_Pie just flashes a “Yes” over the screen of her mask for her eyes, the lids of Yoohyeon’s eyes closing heavily._

The constant back and forth of trying to fight for herself is exhausting but Yoohyeon knows it’ll be worth it. To be the Spiderwoman that Cheonsa deserves, Yoohyeon knows that she cannot be housing this murderous and ruthless symbiote inside of her—knows that she has to be comfortable with being by herself and all her thoughts beckoning her to vulnerability, to accept her reality of being alone.

It’s a scary thought, making friends with her loneliness instead of seeing it as her most intimidating enemy.

But it’s necessary despite how difficult it is, no matter how it frightens her.

(And the wonderful thing about Yoohyeon is that she’ll always try her best—she’ll keep trying even if she’s terrified of what is to come).

The only thing that makes her week better is the news.

(Yoohyeon usually hates the news. It’s usually just regurgitated scripts of half-truths and lies. 

But she does like the headline that runs across her screen).

_KIM MINJI FINDS CURE FOR BREAST CANCER_

In fact, the news elates her to a ridiculously infinite degree.

(She always knew Minji would find a way. She’s tenacious and passionate, smart beyond her years. It almost feels as if Yoohyeon herself found the cure, the ineffable victory and joy Minji might be feeling finding its way to her).

Reading the article, the journalist entails a public press conference on the steps of her workplace at four in the afternoon. Making note of it, Yoohyeon quickly finishes up her work—enough that she can leave by 3:25 instead of her usual 4:00. 

Taking a cab to Minji’s workplace, Yoohyeon hides among the crowd that is already there. 

(She forgets that it’s hard to hide anywhere when she is decently tall, a head of silver hair standing out in the mess of brown’s, black’s, and blonde’s). 

As Minji gives her speech, Yoohyeon watches with rapt attention, her heart in her throat paying just as devoted attention to the scientist.

Minji stands tall and proud, triumph shining in her eyes.

(As she should! She has spent the last fifteen years figuring out the science behind the cure of breast cancer. If anything, Yoohyeon thinks the world should bow at her feet for such an achievement—for the amount of work it took to get here).

“I won’t lie and say that this was easy. I am honored to work with a passionate team that stayed just as committed to the cause as I was. They helped me with our losses and helped me see that they were only our little victories. To the investors and sponsors who believed in us, thank you.”

Minji smiles confidently, happily.

It takes Yoohyeon’s breath away.

“I wouldn’t have been able to do it with my own support.” Minji affectionately looks at the front of the steps where Yoohyeon is sure Bora and Cheonsa stand. (Minji looks at them with a love so tangible in her eyes—Yoohyeon doesn’t need to peer over heads to see if Minji’s wife and daughter are there to celebrate with her). 

The scientist then surveys the crowd, her eyes searching among the faces there. Finding Yoohyeon, she settles her gaze there, soft shock coloring her eyes before they turn appreciative and fond. Making sure that Yoohyeon is looking back at her, she continues, “Without the special people in my life, I would have given up years ago.”

Yoohyeon doesn’t need to think twice that Minji is thanking her too, feels it in her voice, hears it in her genuine honesty. 

Yoohyeon nods in encouragement and sends a small and honest smile. Minji beams back at her, looking more carefree than she did all those years ago.

“I’m happy to be standing here in front of you all today. That means we’ve taken a step towards protecting ourselves and our own. And I will always continue to look out for us.” Bowing briefly in sincere gratefulness, Minji concludes her speech, “Thank you!” 

While the flash of the press blinds Minji, Yoohyeon disappears from the crowd, content to hear from her before quickly leaving.

Before Yoohyeon goes on to fulfill her duties as Spiderwoman, she purchases a bouquet of carnations from her favorite florist by the bodega with the amazing sandwiches. With her mask slightly rolled up, Yoohyeon carries them in her teeth as she scales up the wall of Minji and Bora’s place.

The lights are off—they must be out celebrating.

Prying the bedroom window open, Yoohyeon carefully places the bouquet of flowers on Minji’s bedside table. Unsticking the note she left in her palm, she leaves it beside the carnations before leaving and closing their window again.

(Yoohyeon spent nearly half an hour writing the note, hoping that it’s not too much, hoping that she isn’t infringing any boundaries—she’d hate to make Minji feel uncomfortable).

(Yoohyeon notices that Minji’s favorite Rilakkuma is situated on the middle of the bed, just as Cheonsa said).

~.~

When Minji and Bora come home, Cheonsa’s head is tucked into Bora’s neck, asleep in her arms due to the excitement and happiness of the day tuckering her out. 

Coming into her room, Minji softly gasps when the bouquet of burgundy red carnations steals her attention. Almost running to them, her eyes mist with hot tears when she clutches the note to her chest, kisses it because she misses the person who wrote it so _fucking_ much. Hanging onto each word and reading them like they’re precious, Minji imprints the words to her mind, wishes that she could have heard these words from Yoohyeon in person. 

(Maybe then, she’d tug her in for a hug, maybe she’d tell her that she still loves and wants her.

But, maybe, it’s better off that Yoohyeon stays away).

_If this is overstepping, I’m sorry. But I did promise that I’d be here to celebrate with you when you find that cure. If this is the best I can do, then I’m more than happy to. If this is the worst, carnations are decomposable… This might mean nothing to you. And you might not even care at all and that’s okay. I just didn’t want to let you down if you remembered my promise._

  
  


_\- Y_

_PS: I always knew you could do it and I’ll always believe in you. The world is better off with you in it :)_

When Minji puts the carnations in a vase, Bora doesn’t even need to ask who they’re from, just opens her arms for Minji to fall into.

When Cheonsa wakes up the next morning, the first thing she notices in the home are the flowers situated on the coffee table.

Waiting at the kitchen table for breakfast, she looks at the bouquet with soft wonder.

“Mommy, who got you the flowers? They’re so pretty!”

Minji takes a moment to look at the flowers, feels Yoohyeon’s love blossoming in her heart the same way carnations do, “Someone _very_ important to me. She made everything we have possible, my love.”

Cheonsa just leaves the table to smell the flowers, smiles at the sight of them the same way Minji and Bora do.

~.~

It’s not the police dispatch that alerts Yoohyeon of the raging fire on 42nd because Yoohyeon is already there as she watches in horror, her old home ravished by angry flames. Fitting her mask over her head, Yoohyeon feels her heart racing behind her chest in adrenaline. 

There are already a decent amount of people outside mourning their homes as the complex burns. Stumbling when Cheonsa’s body is the next to run out of the building, Yoohyeon’s arms are already open for her when she collapses into them, crying.

Doing her best to keep her panic subdued, Yoohyeon holds the girl in her arms tightly, “Where’re your moms, Cheonsa?”

Even as she sobs heavily, her tiny body wracking with shakes, Yoohyeon is able to make out what she says.

“Mommy, she- she’s stuck inside, m- mama too. P- pretty lady’s bear! I couldn’t save it!”

At that, Yoohyeon just runs her fingers through Cheonsa’s hair, tries to comfort her as much as she can.

Gently cupping her cheeks and softly wiping her tears, Yoohyeon squeezes her tighter, wishes she could stay longer to comfort her through her cries. 

But, Yoohyeon has a job, a duty, a promise, to fulfill: keeping Minji and Bora safe.

Swinging towards the ambulance, Yoohyeon leaves her in the care of a medic. Before zipping away, she kneels down to gently hold the girl’s face in her hands, her voice reassuring and calm, “I’m gonna get them, Cheonsa. I promise you. I’ll save them.”

But, before Yoohyeon can go, the little girl tugs on her arm, her big, glassy, red eyes look at Yoohyeon like she is amazing—like she is her hero. 

“I love you, Spidey unnie.”

As Yoohyeon runs into the burning apartment complex, her eyes are watery, a tear rolling down her cheek.

How long has it been since someone has last told her that they love her? How long has it been since she last felt loved?

It shakes her to her core.

Lost in thought and nearly getting crushed under a wooden beam, she shakes herself back to focusing. Yoohyeon scolds herself, thinks that this is not the time to be greedy and think about the loneliness rotting away in her forlorn heart. 

Yoohyeon thinks she’s selfish when she ignores the voices calling for help, only trying to focus on the two that mean the absolute world to her. 

It’s on the third floor when she hears the familiar heartbreaking sound of crying—Minji crying. Running towards the sound and jumping over the obstacles, the messy and fragile stitching of Yoohyeon’s heart mercilessly tears into half when she finds Minji desperately sprawled out on the floor, a wooden beam crushing her ankle. Scrambling over to the burning beam, it takes a mighty heave and loud groan to lift it, her fingers and palms suffering from the horrible heat. Free from it as Minji moves her leg, her cries still persist, her hands covering her face—distraught and devastated.

Leaning down to carry her in her arms, a vicious memory kicks Yoohyeon in the gut, her breath hitching and lodging itself in her throat.

_Bora latches onto Yoohyeon’s back like a happy koala, her staccatoed giggling ringing out from behind her. Minji laughs cheerfully, that loud and joyous sound that is capable of bringing an entire universe peace, from where she lays cradled in her arms. Waddling into their home because Bora’s legs are wrapped around the tops of her thighs and Minji’s long legs are dug into her waist since the doorway is too small, Yoohyeon’s laugh is bright and carefree—happy._

Now, Minji cries into her chest, her ankle sickly dangling as Yoohyeon takes her to safety. 

So much has changed.

And it breaks her heart—more than it already has. 

Running over to the medic and letting them take care of her, Minji doesn’t allow for her to leave, the anguished hold she has on her wrist showing the torment she’s in. Minji’s hands run up Yoohyeon’s arms and curl around her biceps like she’s dreaming, like she’s trying to tell herself that her lost love is right there in front of her—her brave, selfless baby that she let leave. When Minji reaches up for her, Yoohyeon subconsciously lowers her face into her hands, her body listening to the shrieking ache demanding her to nuzzle into her touch.

And when Yoohyeon softly thumbs away at Minji’s tears, she only begins to sob even harder, her eyes desolate and full of grief. Voice gentle and delicate, Yoohyeon has to fight the temptation to lean in and rest her head against Minji’s.

(It’s not like before where she can comfort her like she used to—it’s not her right. She can’t rest her forehead on hers and kiss her tears away, can’t tell her that she loves her when Minji buries her head into her neck).

“Where’s Bora?”

Hiccupping as she talks, Minji looks up to their apartment and it’s all Yoohyeon needs. 

Swinging to the bedroom window of Minji and Bora’s apartment, Yoohyeon makes a bed of webs connecting from the brick wall of the burning building to the wall of the one next to it. Crawling on the wall and lifting the window, it’s like moments of all of her nights from the past flash behind her eyes: crawling on this very wall, falling into her home, feeling loved and cared for—cherished. 

These moments, these feelings, long gone.

The destruction has torn through some of the room, Minji’s small bed of Rilakkuma’s in the corner of it in flames. On their queen bed, the singular and familiar Rilakkuma situated in the middle of it is untouched by the fire. 

And in their kitchen, a vase of carnations—the carnations she left a month ago, Yoohyeon notices—is rapidly eaten up by licks of fire. 

It’s cruel, having to walk through her old home as it burns. It’s as if everything is telling her to let go, like all her memories of love and happiness should incinerate just as the couch she used to cuddle Minji and Bora on scorches to nothing but flames.

Gulping, Yoohyeon shakes herself again, berates herself for letting her memories and thoughts get the best of her. 

Frantically searching around, Yoohyeon feels her breathing getting heavier, hears Pie telling her to slow breathing. Trying her best to calm down and preserve as much of her air as possible, Yoohyeon feels Carnage’s discomfort—its aversion to heat irritating it.

“Bora!”

Coughing from the smoke and ducking under fallen debris, her heart pounds and beats in thunderous echoes, “Bora!”

Weak and faint, a whimper catches her attention. Rushing over, a large industrial metal pipe obscures her vision, the smallest gap between it and the floor. 

“I’m here, I’m right here! I’m coming for you!” 

Husky and low, Bora’s voice is low and strained—probably from the smoke and her screaming, “Y- Yoohyeonnie? Is- is that you?”

(Even if everything around them is burning and incinerating to absolute ash, Yoohyeon feels her breath catch, her heart waking up from its slumber to stumble to its feet in attention—its affection for Bora just as breathtaking and real as years ago).

“It’s me; I’m getting you out of here!”

Knowing that there is no other way to remove the pipe without endangering the delicate structure of the demolished apartment, Yoohyeon steels her courage, bears the weight of what is to come. Lowering and squatting to lift the massive pipe, the heat from the fire burns through her suit, sears the skin of her hands. Heaving it up onto her shoulder, tears rush to her eyes and a blood-curdling scream pushes past her throat, the cauterizing heat scorching her skin and bone raw. 

The smoke is filling her lungs, the exertion of the night getting to her. Holding a hand out for Bora, it’s a gentle spark that leaves her feeling tingly when Bora reaches for her and slides out from the corner of the room. Whether it’s the comfort of knowing that Bora has a way out and she is no longer stuck or it’s just that her body is at its end after such emotional turmoil, Yoohyeon crumbles under the weight the pipe, the metal crushing her right arm, the mind-numbing pain of shattering her bones and the scalding fire leaving her in devastating agony.

On her knees, Bora scrambles towards her, her hands shaking as they hover over her—as if lost and confused about where to start healing her. “Yoohyeon, your- you’re hurt!”

Even as her hands tremble, she tries to hold Bora’s hand in hers, tries to be the comfort that she needs. “Our- Your bedroom window, you can get out there. It’s safe and they’ll come for you.”

When Yoohyeon lets go of her hand, Bora just clutches onto her, refuses to let go.

(Not again).

Everything hurts. Her body, her heart. And when Yoohyeon’s voice wobbles and wavers, she’s far too wrecked to know. “Go, Bora, they need you.”

Bora’s lips are pulled down by the weight of her grief, her hands only squeezing tighter, “What- what about you?!”

Yoohyeon pulls her hand away, wonders how much pain her heart can take before it stops beating in her chest when Bora’s crestfallen eyes lock on her, her body reluctant to leave. Weakly pushing her away, her voice betrays her when it cracks, “Doesn’t matter! Go!”

Still, despite being pushed away, Bora’s hands come to rest on her cheeks, her tears leaving streaks on her grimy cheeks, “Yooh, your arm…”

(Yoohyeon doesn’t know if it’s all the smoke and all the blinding pain that’s making her hallucinate or if this is her reality, but Bora is gently cradling her, holding her like she’s someone who is precious—someone who she isn’t capable of being).

Reaching up to hold one of the hands caressing her cheeks, Yoohyeon thinks that should she die, at least she’d die knowing what it feels like to be touched by Minji and Bora again.

“Bora, please, go. Minji and Cheonsa, they need you.”

A sob tears through Bora’s throat, her trembling hands caressing Yoohyeon’s cheeks, her head negatively shaking vehemently, “I don’t want to leave you, Yoohyeonnie.”

Yoohyeon smiles, cynically, behind her mask, “There’s nothing worth staying for, Bora. You’ve a whole life.” Gritting her teeth and doing everything she can to hide the striking hot pain searing through her arm, Yoohyeon feels her strength slowly ebbing away from her. “Don’t give them up. I’ll get out of this; I promise.”

(Maybe if they weren’t in a burning building and Yoohyeon wasn’t terrified about losing Bora to the roaring flames, maybe her heart would climb up her throat to tell Bora, “I love you.” Maybe she’d take a second to let that fond nickname Bora called her wash over her, let herself think that she’s loved enough to be called so sweetly).

(Even if Bora leaves, she looks behind her, her heart left behind with the woman crumpled to the floor, hopelessly and helplessly stuck and broken. Before she slips out of the window, she rifles through Cheonsa’s room as quickly as she can, cries in relief when she finds that familiar brown bear keychain on her bedside table. Untouched by the flames, the stitching on the other side drags another sob out of her. Holding it tight in her hands when she climbs out of the window, Yoohyeon’s familiar webbing devastates her. Weeping into her arms in the safety of Yoohyeon’s web, the Rilakkuma keychain is tightly pressed to her heart, tries in vain to feel the comfort of Yoohyeon’s arms around her).

As the flames eat through the furniture, Yoohyeon wonders if this is how it ends, wonders if this will be enough to get rid of the evil eating through what’s left of the good inside of her—wonders if this carnage will leave her alone.

(Some wretched part of her wonders if she’ll feel lonelier than before because nothing, no one, has ever needed her more than this fucked up symbiotic parasite. 

Yoohyeon thinks that maybe she was meant for it, wonders if two big fuck ups are only meant to deserve each other).

Before Yoohyeon can lose herself to her thoughts and surrender, Pie’s reassuring voice comes through. 

“Yoohyeon, I believe in you. I am here for you when all of this is over.”

(Pie just might be Yoohyeon’s greatest companion).

Before the fire can come even closer, Yoohyeon catches her breath and prepares herself for a whole new world of excruciating pain. Knowing that she won’t be able to lift the metal she’s crushed under, she accepts her fate and shuts her eyes tight. Maneuvering around so that her feet can press against the metal, Yoohyeon inhales and pushes as strongly as she can with every bit of her effort. Feeling the bone and sinew of her arm protesting against the movement, she keeps pushing even when she hears a sick sound, keeps pushing even if everything is telling her to _fucking stop_. Screaming in anguish as she rips away, Yoohyeon has to lift her mask as she rolls over and vomits on the floor, her mutilated right arm trapped under the metal. 

As if the symbiote awakens in her and senses the emergency, her body seizes painfully as the parasite takes over her control, a right arm slowly regenerating as if she never ripped it out of its socket. Feeling a rush of psychotic anger take her over, Yoohyeon knows what needs to happen next, knows that she can’t allow for her fury and rage to succumb to Carnage again even when she is at her weakest. 

Stumbling towards the flames, Yoohyeon struggles to find peace, struggles to find a happy memory to remember when the flames consume her. And as the fire burns through her suit and scorches her raw, the red parasite rises upon her skin, the symbiote unable to handle the searing heat. Ripping it away from her skin and screaming in agony from the torture of the fire and Carnage fighting against her, Yoohyeon’s vision blurs as she rolls away from the flames, the symbiotic parasite no longer using her as a host. 

No matter how her body wails with affliction, she staggers towards the fridge, the pictures of Minji, Bora, and Cheonsa and the one of her, Minji, and Bora are barely singed. The plastic of the Spiderwoman magnet has since melted from all the heat, its material ruining the happy smile Yoohyeon wears in the picture. Coughing heavily as she traverses through the apartment and stepping over all the wreck, the Rilakkuma on Minji and Bora’s bed is slowly consumed by flames, its right arm incinerated. Braving the flames and taking it, when she rotates it, the messy stitching from her practice session from all those years ago remains. 

(Holding it in her arms and keeping it close, Yoohyeon thinks she can imagine Minji’s arms around her waist the way it was that night, thinks she can imagine Bora kissing her between each practice stitch).

After taking what she can and feeling remorse when she can’t find ~~her~~ Cheonsa’s Rilakkuma anywhere, she keeps Minji’s plushie and the pictures safe as she zips away from the burning building. Yoohyeon searches among the mass of civilians for the people that matter the most to her. Finding them, Minji and Bora are holding Cheonsa, their weary bodies sobbing and comforting each other, Cheonsa’s Rilakkuma tightly held in her small hands.

Looking at the pictures in her hands, some part of Yoohyeon selfishly wants to hold them close and never let them go—doesn’t want to let go of one of the only tangible things that remind her that she is capable of being loved, that she _was_ loved so very dearly once. But, as she looks at the family in front of her, Yoohyeon knows.

She can’t be selfish, won’t be selfish, when it comes to Minji and Bora—and now, Cheonsa.

(It’s peaceful, not having Carnage tormenting her anymore. It’s quiet—just Yoohyeon and her sadness, the anger within her finally meek enough to be truly felt as miserable sorrow. It’s just as lonely as it was before, the pain stinging just as much as it did.

But there’s triumph in her pain, strength. There’s hope in wanting to be alive, wanting to live, to continue to protect the people she loves with dedicated loyalty).

Exhausted beyond measure, Yoohyeon watches as what used to be hers fall away. With Minji’s favorite Rilakkuma in her arms, Yoohyeon slowly loses her consciousness on the rooftop thinking about how it felt to be touched by the people she loves. 

(The plushie doesn’t smell like Minji anymore, its scent smokey from the fire, but Yoohyeon thinks—fools herself into thinking—that her faint smell of vanilla embraces her the same way it used to as Minji held her to sleep).

Her nightmares don’t lay a single finger on her that night—the memories and ghosts of Minji and Bora’s touch and love shielding her away from her demons.

~.~

A week later when Bora arrives to work after getting lunch with Minji, a package without a return address sits on her desk. The familiar handwriting on it softly comforts the regret and desolation that made a home out of the Yoohyeon-shaped hole in her heart the day she left.

Opening the package with utmost care, a rush of tears come to sit right behind her eyes when she pulls out her favorite Rilakkuma plushie, slightly singed and missing an arm. On its side, it is perfectly stitched up, a stark difference to the clumsy stitching done on the back. Holding it tightly against her chest, mingled with the smell of smoke, Bora smells the slightest hint of something that is so innately _Yoohyeon_. Burying her nose in it, her eyes close to savor the smell of a person—of a home—that she has missed terribly. Reaching for the envelope and taking out the pictures in it, Bora’s thumb gently caresses over the melted plastic covering Yoohyeon’s smile and cheek, as if Yoohyeon might actually feel her love. A note is attached to it and the tears behind her eyes tumble and drag down her cheeks as she reads it.

_I don’t know if you still want these, but I managed to get to them in time. I didn’t have any spare Rilakkuma parts though. Hope you don’t mind that he’s an amputee now..._

_PS: I couldn’t save the Spidey magnet :(_

Oh, how Bora wishes, pleads, for someone—anyone—to save Spiderwoman.

Because, God, Yoohyeon deserves to know that she’s worth saving, worth loving, worthy of everything and anything her heart loves and desires.

Because, for once, Yoohyeon deserves someone who’ll run towards her, who won’t run away, who won’t let her leave.

(But all Yoohyeon wants—all she loves and desires—is right there, shown in the pictures held in Bora’s hand. And if she’d allow herself to be greedy, she’d run full speed to them, spill all her “I love you’s” by their feet, beg and implore for them to take her back into their hearts. 

But a hero’s heart is rarely ever selfish. Not when all it knows is guilt and fear and frustratingly sacrificial goodness. 

Not when her heart thinks that the grief it feels is love persevering).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked this extensive journey!!! spidey-yooh is so important to me so i will be coming back to this universe once i've rested!!!

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked it! come to my twt or cc if you'd like @kminjyus :D


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